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.And I don’t know about him, but I don’t plan on stopping.***I have no clue what Jay’s room looks like.I know there’s a bed.I know there’s a couch.I know he put the movie on, and it’s playing in the background, but I have no idea what’s happening.My lips are sore.My chin is raw.I can’t seem to get a grip on my breathing.We’ve tossed our top layers, leaving me in a hand-me down cami from Sierra and him in a light undershirt.His muscles are rocks.I’m growing quite fond of his chiseled jaw.His breaths come out in sharp gasps in tune with mine.And I feel like now I get it.Why the kissing thing is a big deal.Because it’s hard not to think about anything else when you’re into it.“Brea?” he pants against the top of my chest where his lips are.A moan rips from my throat that was meant to sound something like, “Yeah?” but it comes out more like something you’d hear on a porn.“Can we make this official?”“Huh?”His lips skitter to mine, and we make them sore for a few more seconds.“You and me.I want to make it official.”My brain is off, so my mouth pops open with a, “Sure” before I even have time to think if it’s what I really want.But he smiles and it sort of melts my limbs, so I don’t take it back.Our mouths explore each other for a few more minutes, up until I think my face is emanating smoke.“Jay, I need a break,” I breathe, and he pauses against my chin.His eyes open to mine and his pupils look so large they almost take over the blue.“Okay, sorry, I didn’t mean…”I kiss him to shut up his fumbling.“It’s not that.I want to kiss you, but my face sort of hurts.”“Oh…Oh! Yeah, sorry.” He slides back, lifting his body off mine.His butt hits the mattress next to me, and I sit up and re-braid my hair.We don’t say anything.It’s one of those awkward Jay silences, but at the moment, it doesn’t really bother me.Maybe that’s a good thing.We don’t talk.We kiss.That’s how we work, and after what we just spent all afternoon doing…I’m thinking it’s going to work really well.“What time is it?” I ask once I’ve knotted the end of my hair together.The movie looks like it’s been over for a while.“Uh…” He reaches over the mattress behind me to his phone on the nightstand.The front of his shirt drags up, and I catch those rocky stomach muscles I got to feel for the afternoon.“About eight.You don’t need to get running, do you?”I shake my head, but I do need to make a call.“Where’s your bathroom again?”He points lazily to the door, then turns his wrist to the right.I lean over and kiss his cheek.“I’ll be right back.”His carpet is so soft, I feel like I’m walking on marshmallows to the guest toilet.As quiet as I can, I shut the door and lock it, then pull my phone out to cover my butt for the night.It rings twice before Sierra picks up.“Heyo!”I roll my eyes and sit on the porcelain toilet seat.“Hey.I’m gonna be a bit longer.Probably see you around midnight if that’s okay.”“You’re still with Jay?”“Yeah.”“How long are those movies?” She laughs, and I feel an explosion that balloons my stomach.Right, the movies.“Um, I don’t know.”Something slams shut on her side of the phone, and Sierra goes perky-voice in my ear.“You’re totally making out, aren’t you?”Ugh.“Maybe.”“Omigosh, does this mean you guys are…?”I have to think about it, because I think we are together now.That’s what “official” means, right?“Yes?”“You’re not sure?”“No, I am.I’m just kind of not thinking straight.My head’s all over.”“Yeah.” Her tone lowers.“You still haven’t told me why my place is your place this weekend.”“Yeah.” And I won’t because she’ll run straight to Levi.I won’t tell him about Mom not because she asked me not to, but because it’ll crush him.I think it’ll crush him worse than it crushed me.I bet Sierra’s told him already how off I’ve been.Crap.“You didn’t tell Levi about me being at Jay’s today, did you?”She stays quiet, and I can picture her cheeks ballooning.“Sierra…”A loud whoosh of air fuzzes my phone.“I tell Levi everything.”Chapter 12Maybe sign-twirling is in my future.The bell clanks against the glass as I open the door to Nut World, application in hand.I texted Adam late last night to see if he’d be okay with me applying at his job.I thought he’d be wordier, but he just said, “That’s fine.” Maybe it was because I texted him way past his bed time.He’s working today, but I didn’t see him out on the curb.He must’ve just gotten done with his shift.“Hey, sweetie,” a cute old woman behind the counter says, organizing a case of pistachios.“I’m so sorry, I’m just getting these done then I’ll get you your nuts.”A smile twitches on my lips as I step up to the display case.“Actually I’m here to turn this in.”I slide the application across the glass, and she adjusts her glasses and taps a pink nail on the paper.“Let me take a look at this, here,” she says with a smile, then holds the application inches from her nose.Forcing myself not to pop my gum, I let my eyes wander over the nuts in the cases.It smells really sweet in here—like caramel and cinnamon.I wonder if I start working here if I’ll permanently smell of the place like Adam does.Not a bad side effect, in my opinion.“Oh my beautiful Brea!” Peggy Pelegrino says as she pops out from the back.Her hair cap protector looks like it’s sliding off her salt and pepper hair as she scrambles around the counter to me.She plants a wet kiss on my cheek, and I wait till she’s turned around to lift my shoulder and rub the lipstick off.“Are you here to see our head squirrel? He’s just changing in the back.Poor thing got so red when I walked in on him in his boxer shorts.Aletha, we need to put a lock on that door.”The cute white-haired lady chuckles and sets my application back down on the counter.“He tells you he’s changing every time he goes in there.You just want a good look at the cute boy.”Mrs.Pelegrino laughs, her nose pinching a bit as she turns back to me.“It’s beyond me why that boy doesn’t have a girl.Have you seen him in his boxer shorts, dear? He’s got a fine little caboose.”I slowly shake my head, because even though Adam and I have been close friends for a few years, no… I haven’t seen his “caboose [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]