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.He rocks back in the chair, locks his hands behind his head, yawns as he stretches out.He’s going to keep her hanging for a bit longer, eke it out.Isn’t that what she’s been doing to him?The silence splinters when his fist smashes down on the table like a gavel.‘Why do you always have to ruin it?’He can recount, with alarming precision, each occasion when she has ruined it.The night in the club in Ibiza, drunk on shots, when they danced so close their bodies moulded together.They lasted until five in the morning, when they got a taxi back and she rested her head on his lap.He stroked her hair, bright blond from the sun.He thought she understood then that what they had was special and should be nurtured (if only he knew that two nights later she was swimming naked with Sam).Why, when she turned to him with a broken heart, did she not see as clearly as daylight that all she needed was right in front of her?‘I could have spared you all that shit if only you’d listened.But you’re just like her.’‘Her?’‘My mother.You can’t even remember, can you?’ He waits for an answer.‘I told you all about her when we were camping that night.I hadn’t told anyone before.I told you what happened.She didn’t die, she committed suicide.She killed herself because my dad destroyed her with his affairs.Every time it happened she’d tell me we were leaving and then he’d win her back.Words, that’s all they were, just hollow empty words.Because he’d go and do the same again.She was beautiful …’ he pauses, his voice grows shaky, ‘like you.’A memory rises to the surface, faded, blurred.A photograph of a woman, blond hair, jewel-green eyes.A chain around her neck.‘You showed me a picture of her that night with the chain?’He nods.‘Funny that your memory starts working now.It was the school holidays when she did it.My dad was supposed to be coming down that morning.She told me to go out and play so I went out to the garden, built a den with my friends.We could spend hours there, getting lost in games we’d dream up.I only came in because I was hungry.She hadn’t called me for lunch so I went inside.She was in the living room lying on the floor.I thought she was asleep, but when I touched her she was so cold, she wouldn’t wake up.I just lay next to her, talking at first, telling her what I had been doing.She looked so peaceful, so calm.Just the two of us there in the room.She was wearing the chain I had given her for her birthday.They buried her in it.I imagined there was always part of me with her.‘I told you all this, everything, and we kissed.You can remember that much, can’t you? And the next morning you laughed as if it had been a joke.You laughed and said I had tried to kiss you and you didn’t mention anything else.’She doesn’t think this is true.Not all of it.They kissed, that much she recalls, and he told her something about his mother, but surely she would have remembered this, the manner in which she died, Patrick finding her and lying next to her body, chatting about football teams and dens as the heat faded from her? That information would have wedged itself deep in her brain, sprung up again the next morning the moment she looked at his face.She wouldn’t have laughed, not even about the kiss.She would have shown more consideration.‘I don’t …’ She stops.Anger distorts his face.She shuffles in her chair, hears it scrape along the flagstones.A pulse throbs through her body.‘It happened.All of it.Don’t tell me it didn’t happen, don’t try to make excuses for yourself.I’d bought you the same chain as a present.I was waiting for the right time to give it to you.But there was never a right time, was there?‘Tell me, was I too nice, too dependable, did you want someone who was more of a bastard?’ He laughs, a throaty cackle.‘Obviously that’s why you started fucking Sam.’Her mind whirs.‘That weekend I cancelled on you.You came back and saw us in the flat, didn’t you?’‘Everything.’ His laugh is vicious.‘He was all over you.’ He sees her shudder.‘Don’t worry, you weren’t naked, you were in too much of a hurry for that, evidently.Too immersed in each other to see someone watching.’ His eyes spark and dance.‘That hurt, let me tell you, seeing the weight of him on you, the look on your face.‘Did he tell you he was going to leave Honor? Or did you not mind sharing him with your friend? Well?’ His voice is sharp, deafening.‘Or was it just about the sex?’Words stick in her throat, choke her.‘Yeah, I thought as much.’He heard her phone buzz that Friday night in the pub.He read the message.He knew where she was going.Another clandestine meeting with Sam.For ages he’d wanted to stop her, warn her about what she was getting into, but the chance hadn’t arisen.She was always out, with Sam, at work, too busy.The time they spent just the two of them was non-existent.When he saw the text, he knew he had to do something.The plan formed in his head.He could bring her here.‘You’d promised to come after all.A promise is a promise,’ he says smiling.‘But I doubted you’d agree to it so I slipped a little something into your glass of rosé at the pub.You were so intent on getting plastered I knew you wouldn’t notice it.’‘You drugged me?‘Flunitrazepam is the medical term, though it’s often referred to as the date rape drug.Not that I would ever have raped you.’ His eyes grow wide in horror.‘That wasn’t why I did it.’If she survives this, at least she’ll know she can have more than one glass of wine before she falls over.If she survives.‘It’s not that easy to detect in the bloodstream.By the time you were tested it would have gone.’ His tone is so matter-of-fact she finds herself losing her grasp on reality.‘Well that’s a relief,’ she says, her voice thick with forced sarcasm.‘That you weren’t going to rape …’ She meant to stand up to him but by the end of the sentence her words have lost their bite.‘I wanted to talk to you, that’s all.Make you see what he was like and what you were doing.It took you ages to wake up, you were out for the whole night, half of the next morning.I was watching you, looking after you the whole time.You looked so peaceful, your lips so red against your skin.And then you woke up and you looked around and freaked out.I couldn’t calm you down.I didn’t want to hurt you.Honestly.You left me with no choice.’I ruined everything again.‘You play dead very well; you even convinced me, a doctor, that you were dead.Mind you, I was panicking, thinking the worst anyway.I drove back to London that night.I remembered walking past the stretch of common with you in the summer, just through the gate, and I decided to leave you there.’‘And Eve?’‘That was unfortunate, a mistake on my part, but once she knew it was me I had no choice.Still, it was risky doing it a second time.Lucky for me that David Alden had been released.I knew if I left Eve in the same place with the chain they’d think it was him again.It caused a delay, mind you, I had to search for an identical one first on the internet.They stopped making them.’‘You kept her here while you shopped for a chain? You are sick.’He shakes his head [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]