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.“Hey, can I have a minute?” Mom asked me, standing outside of the security checkpoint.It was the first time I’d seen her since Thursday night, and she was there when we arrived, waiting for us to make our way in.Bailey and Dad took Mom’s question as an opportunity to take some time for themselves, and they sidelined off to say their goodbyes.And I just stood there, staring at my mother.“Amanda,” she said quietly, keeping her voice low, “are you ever going to forgive me?”“I’m working on it,” I answered as honestly as I could because I owed her that much.She was trying, and I had to recognize that she deserved the best effort I could give her.It wasn’t what she was asking for, but it was the best I could give her for now.She understood that, as well as I understood that I had to keep trying.“I’d like to think that sometime down the road, maybe this will all be behind us.Today’s not that day, and it probably won’t be tomorrow either.It’s a lot to ask me to forget.”“I’m not asking you to forget.I’m asking you to forgive.”“Right.”“I love you, sweetheart, and I’m sorry I didn’t get to spend more time with you on this trip.Maybe next time I’m in town—”“Yeah, maybe,” I said, and then I looked over to Dad and Bailey.They were wrapped in a hug, Bailey sobbing on Dad’s arm, and Dad crying into her hair.“What happens if you decide you were wrong?” I asked.“What happens if she gets on that plane, and things start to get hard, and you suddenly decide that having a daughter is too much work?”“It’s going to be different this time,” she promised.“I’m going to do everything I can to make this right.”“You have to,” I ordered, feeling tears in my eyes.“Because she needs you.” And then I found myself ready to say the words that I hadn’t been able to say in years, the words I feared saying out loud, because it was the most painful truth I’d ever known.“A person never stops needing her mother.”I felt a tear stream down my face as I looked at her.The truth was simple: she was my mom, regardless of everything she’d ever done.Regardless of everything she’d continue to do, as long as we lived and breathed, we were always going to be a part of each other.“You better take care of her.You better give her every tiny thing she demands because she deserves the world, and you owe her that.”Mom nodded.“Stay in touch, okay?”“I’ll be in touch with Bailey,” I said, looking to her again.She and Dad were no longer holding onto each other.He was wiping her tears away with his thumb, telling her how much he was going to miss her.“Have a safe flight.”I started toward Dad and Bailey, wanting to get one last moment alone with my sister before she took off, and Mom called out my name again.“Mandy.” I turned back instantly at the sound of my name, my heart stopping for a beat.Mandy, not Amanda.“Even after everything, even after all the time and years, after everything that happened, I never stopped loving you.”I nodded.“Yeah,” I said, feeling another tear.“Me too, Mom.”And that was enough.That’s all I had to say.Because even though the woman had hurt me, had scarred me for life, had ripped my heart out of my chest on more than one occasion, she was still my mother.She was still the woman who filled my memories of childhood with love and laughter.And in spite of all the awful things she’d done, she was still that person who tucked me into bed as a kid, read me stories, styled my hair.she was the person who flew halfway across the country to ask for my forgiveness.I loved her.Even though I hated her, I loved her.“You guys have to get through security,” I said to Bailey, pulling her focus away from Dad.“You’re cutting it close.”“Yeah,” she said, looking down to her bags.“Can we—”“Yeah,” I nodded, and my sister and I took a moment to ourselves as Dad stood and waited alone.He wouldn’t look at Mom.He wouldn’t even say goodbye because Dad was taking it a lot more personally than I was.He felt the attack.He’d put himself in a position where he was far enough away from Mom that she could never hurt him again.He’d protected himself.He’d guarded his heart.He’d never counted on her coming all the way here just to rip a huge chunk of it away again.And that’s what she was doing with Bailey.She was taking one of the only two things that man cared about, and she was putting thousands of miles between them.“Dad says you guys will pack up the rest of my stuff and send it this week?” she asked, and I sensed she was only talking about her things because she couldn’t imagine talking about the real issue here: for the first time in our eighteen years, Bailey and I weren’t going to be together.“Yeah,” I said.“Jones said he’d come by to help.He has some things he thinks you’ll want.”“Don’t let him send anything I gave him,” she said.“I don’t want him to erase me.”“He has every right to,” I said, but I was careful not to say it too harshly.I reached into my pocket and pulled out a letter.“And Gabe asked me to give this to you.He was going to come see you off this morning, but he didn’t want to get in the way of all the goodbyes.I don’t think it’s anything too serious.Just a goodbye and good luck.”“Is he mad at me?”“Well, his friend is leaving, and that’s never easy,” I said.“He’s a little hurt.”“Okay.”“Listen,” I said.“I could stand here all day and say things to make you feel guilty, but I won’t.I’m done.If this is what you want, then I want this for you.But Bailey, please don’t go there and change.Don’t forget about us.Don’t swear us off just because it’s inconvenient to stay in touch.”“I would never—”“Just don’t,” I said, feeling tears again.“And say hello to everyone for me.No one at school’s gonna know what hit them when you come storming back through those doors.”“I’m nervous.”“Don’t be,” I said.“You might’ve missed your chance at homecoming queen in Sugar Creek, but you’ve got a whole semester to make up for your lost time in LA.They’ll be crowning you prom queen by the spring, for sure.”“Yeah, we’ll see,” she said, smiling, and then she looked down to the floor.“So, here comes the big question.”“Okay?”“You’ll send me an invite to the wedding, right? I can’t miss one of my best friends and my sister getting married.”“Ha!” I smiled.“Yeah, you bet.At the rate we’re moving, we’ll be hitched by the time we’re fifty, so don’t think the invite’s lost in the mail.”She smiled.“I love you, Mandy.”“I love you, too,” I said, hugging her at once.And we stayed wrapped in that hug for what felt like hours.“Girls,” Mom said [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]