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.’ I thought ‘birds’ meant ‘girls’ so I sent my resume.”“There must have been a million applicants,” Pippa frowned.“I actually do know something about birds.My mother belongs to the Audubon Society.”“I’m sure she’d be delighted to know what Moss is doing to the worldwide avian population.”Cole didn’t answer.She wore a Patek Philippe watch: that was a lot of buttered toast.Settling on the pillow, he dug into a bowl of chicken salad.“Tell me about yourself, Cosmo.”“What would you like to know?”Why are you pretending to be a guy, for one.What were you doing at the Phoenix Ritz-Carlton, two.Do you have a boyfriend, three, four, and five.“Where’d you get the Maserati?”“Oh, that,” Pippa laughed, cursing the day its paint dried.“It’s a gift from my—” Oh, boy.“Previous employer.”“For services rendered?”Pippa blushed fiercely enough to ripple the wallpaper.“I got him over a little hump.Actually a big hump.” That sounded worse.“It’s not the sort of hump you’re thinking of.”“Sounds illegal.”“No, just impulsive and stupid.”As Cole poured her a glass of cabernet, he caught her looking at his watch.“A gift from my previous employer.No humps involved.Cheers.”She tried not to stare too blatantly at Cole’s throat as he sipped his wine.“Is this from the cellar? It’s excellent.”“Moss told me to help myself.He doesn’t drink and Leigh prefers Gallo in gallons.”“Is he a nicer guy when he’s not around her?”Cole tore his eyes away from her mouth.He was already fantasizing about peeling the mustache off.“You’ve got to understand where Moss is coming from, Cosmo.He grew up in a tenement in Buffalo.He doesn’t like to see his money evaporate.”“Then he should join the Masons, not the country club.” One of Thayne’s favorite lines.“So what do you do all day? Sit in the car and wait for Signor Bowes to need a ride?”“Something like that.”“That sounds pretty boring.”“It beats organizing birthday parties for dogs.” Winking, Cole refilled her glass.“Where’d you get the idea to call the Westminster Kennel Club?”“My previous employer was a party girl.She thought big and just picked up the phone.You’d be amazed at the insane things people would do for her.”Odd that Cosmo never mentioned who these previous employers might be.Majordomos were normally the crassest name-droppers.“So she had private dog shows and swim meets?”“No, those were my idea.” Pippa sighed.“Signor Bowes is going to hit the roof when he gets the bills tomorrow.” “Maybe he’ll just hit Leigh instead.”“You think those fights are funny? I couldn’t imagine treating my husband like that.” Aghast, Pippa realized her mistake.Damn wine! “I mean my wife.”Cole couldn’t resist teasing her a bit.“Which is it, Cosmo?”Pippa tried to think.If she said “husband,” Cole would think Cosmo was gay.If she said “wife,” he’d think Cosmo was a guy.“Whatever,” she mumbled.How lame! Pippa crashed the bowl of shrimp salad onto her night table.“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll say good night before I make a complete fool of myself.”“No pickles?” Cole chomped the tip off the largest of them.“They’re delicious.”“I hate pickles.” Pippa sprang off the mattress, caught her foot in the bed skirt, and fell flat on her face.Yves Saint Laurent’s eyeglasses shot under the chair.“Whoa!” Cole picked her up.“I’m sorry.I shouldn’t have pried like that.Are you all right?”“I’m fine.” Actually Pippa felt much worse after he let go of her.Cole swished his hand under the chair, trawling for her eyeglasses.To Pippa’s horror he found not only the glasses but her jewelry roll.“What’s this?” As she stood petrified, he untied the ribbon and emptied the contents into his hand.They both stared at Pippa’s magnificent diamond necklace from her grandfather, her diamond earrings from Lance, and her diamond bar-rette from Rosimund.Pippa knew that he knew the rocks were real.“A going-away gift from my previous employer,” she explained.Sadly, that was very close to the truth.“When I get a chance I’ll sell them on eBay.”Cole quietly replaced everything in the jewelry roll.“That must have been one hell of a hump, Cosmo.” He gathered the empty bowls from the night table.“Would you like to keep the wine?”“I’ve drunk enough for one evening, thank you.”At the door he paused.She looked so pale and deflated that he felt like reading her a bedtime story.“I’m glad you’re here.Hope you stay awhile.”She didn’t move for quite a while after the door shut behind him.Cole was no ordinary chauffeur.EighteenFollowing Titian’s birthday party, Dusi Damon had to admit that Leigh, Casa Bowes, and Cosmo were the talk of the town.That house! Those games! Door prizes! The tuna! Millions of cell phone minutes were expended regarding Leigh’s baseball cap, sequined belt, and hand-sewn Italian shirt.Was she making a fashion statement or was she just a clueless tramp? Consensus was finally reached: perhaps jeans, and not a prim designer suit, had been the correct attire for a dog’s birthday fete.Cosmo had obviously dressed his mistress and, as anyone could see, Cosmo was in a sartorial class of his own.Only a pioneer would wear a purple sombrero and matching silk pantaloons in public.Gray socks and nubucks: revolutionary.Half the Las Vegas fashionistas swore his jacket and eyeglasses were Saint Laurent.The other half swore they were Versace.Try as she might, Dusi could not refocus the spotlight on herself.It was an ugly, helpless feeling.Following Leigh’s lead, she fired her bodyguard Giorgio.Instead of a haute couture suit, Dusi dressed in tennis clothes and a baseball cap for her luncheon the next day.She was chagrined to see Leigh show up in an apple-green Dolce & Gabbana suit, Prada shoes, and not one sequin.Cosmo wore his customary uniform, which already felt classic, like Tom Wolfe’s white suits.“Welcome to Castilio Damonia,” Dusi effused, feeling ridiculous in her ruffly panties.“I hope you don’t mind that I will be going straight from lunch to a croquet lesson.” “Obviously,” Cosmo answered dryly.Ignoring Leigh, Dusi took Cosmo’s arm and proceeded down a long, dark foyer lined with thirty-six full coats of armor.“Castilio Da-monia is modeled on Blusterwell, the seat of the Marquess of Ashberry in County Durham.It has four ballrooms, thirty guest rooms, and fifty large fireplaces.”“Winters must be brutal in Las Vegas.”“I’ll tell you a little secret, Cosmo: we turn the air-conditioning to fifty-five, then light the fires
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