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.You’ve got about twenty minutes until lunch, so I suggest you get yourself cleaned up and down to the mess hall before Rainbow starts getting suspicious.”I may hate the idea of this newly hatched plan, but I’m not about to throw Fantine and the boys under the bus because I can’t hold my liquor.“Okay,” I say.“I’ll get it together.”With a nod of approval, she disappears through the tiny doorway and I’m left alone to wallow in the steaming turd pile that has become my life.“Idiot!” I scream into the safety of my faux down pillow.All I had to do was drink enough to get kicked out, but instead I went completely Charlie Sheen and blew my one opportunity to get fired.I pity-party for a solid five minutes before I determine that lying around smelling like a Porta-Potty isn’t going to improve my situation.What I need is a new escape plan.And a shower.Somehow I manage to make it to the bathroom.I’m not sure how much time passes, but when I emerge my hair smells more of mangos than peppermint-laced puke.And thanks to a hearty tooth brushing, it no longer feels like a cat slept in my mouth.The one downside to cleaning up is that I have to change out of the T-shirt I woke up in.Which, if my fuzzy memory serves, was the same T-shirt Quinn wore when we went out last night.Swapping out my puked-on top for his clean one wasn’t exactly how I envisioned our first clothes-free activity to go down, but at least chivalry isn’t completely dead.As I make my way through the camp grounds and toward the mess hall, my Cavalli lenses are about as effective as a piece of Saran wrap against the midday sun.How on earth am I going to get through an entire lunch without heaving? I pause at the bottom of the steps to catch my breath, when from the top of the stairs I hear, “How are you feeling today, Cricket?”Squinting against the blinding sun, I look up to find Rainbow looking down at me.“Uh, okay I guess.”“Oh, thank goodness.I was worried.I had no idea you were allergic to shellfish.”I have an overwhelming urge to scream, I’m not allergic to shellfish and why the hell would you know if I was?—but I resist.Screaming feels like a whole lot of work right now.“I guess we’ll ask Sam to skip the lobster bisque he had planned for next week, huh? I don’t want to run the risk of you and Robyn getting sick again.” She laughs like she thinks she is funny, but I fail to see the humor.“We’re having bean and cheese burritos today,” she adds, her smile showing a hint of concern.“But I can ask Sam to make you something a little lighter.Maybe some toast or soup?”“No,” I say quickly.“A burrito actually sounds good.” Like freaking good.“I’m sure that will be fine.”“Well, great.I think Claire saved you a seat—go help yourself.”I hobble my way up the remaining stairs, blowing by Rainbow with the most convincing smile I can muster, and stumble into the mess hall.My sudden need for grease overrides my irritation with life.I hardly flinch when I see Claire waving me down like an airliner.“Chirp! Chirp!” she says.I take the empty seat between her and a boy who is wearing a duck-shaped oven mitt on his hand.“Do you like Mexican food? I love Mexican food!”“I do today.” Wasting no time digging into the basket of tortilla chips and bowl of salsa sitting in the center of the table.“You smell like candy,” says Oven Mitt.“Good to know,” I say, stuffing another salsa-drenched chip into my mouth.I quickly polish off the entire basket of chips before I notice Quinn looking at me from the next table over.“Hungry?” he says.My initial instinct is to flee, but as my headache eases with each gram of sodium that enters my blood stream, I realize there’s no point in being embarrassed.If puking on myself didn’t turn him off, going Miss Piggy probably won’t, either.“You have no idea,” I answer back.The rest of lunch carries on in about the same fashion as it has every day since I’ve been here.Claire rambles on to no one in particular about the American Idol concert she’s going to next month, and Meredith is using her fork as a microphone to perform Pink songs while Oven Mitt plays the drums with his spoon.I continue to stuff my face with more food than that Kardashian chick did during her pregnancy.All in all, I’m doing pretty well considering how my day started.“Remind me what’s on the agenda today,” I say to Fantine as we escort our small herd from the mess hall back to the bunkhouses.“We’re hitting the pool for a few hours, then it’s free time till dinner,” she says [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]