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.So she changed the scene.Now two little girls raced about the dining room as she enjoyed a luncheon with her sisters and her husband.They were so pretty, one brown haired, one blond—they resembled Corey and Olivia as children.Her distress increased.She imagined her sisters having handsome husbands and added them to the table.Everyone was smiling and content—the little girls, her sisters, their husbands, the squire.Everyone except herself…The luncheon became supper.Everyone was in evening clothes—her sisters were so fashionable now.Olivia even wore pearls.And the supper was over.The squire was sending her warm looks.She was forcing a smile, going upstairs.He followed.And then he came up behind her and wrapped her in his arms, instantly amorous.She simply stood there and let him nuzzle her.Alexandra sat bolt upright, clutching the pillow, Clarewood’s roses front and center in her vision now.She could not do this.She wanted to go through with it, she truly did, and she wanted to be a loving wife.But she did not love the squire.She would never love him.He was too old, and the only man she’d ever loved and would ever love was Owen.He had been a prince.She deserved a prince!Clarewood mocked her now.Even his roses mocked her!And she wished her mother were there.“What am I going to do?” she asked the empty room.The bedroom had a single window.Outside, the night was black and a few stars were shining.And suddenly Elizabeth was standing in front of the window.She could see her mother so clearly now, as if she were real, and not a warm and wonderful memory.As always, her mother was calm and reassuring.You will do what you have to do.She hugged her knees to her chest.Elizabeth had been so happy that she’d found love with Owen.Her sisters were right, her mother would not approve of the squire.“But he loves me.”You don’t love him.She would never love the squire.“I so wanted to save my sisters from destitution.”Elizabeth smiled.He is not your prince.She looked again at the burgundy roses, thinking of Clarewood, who was as close to a prince as a man could be, in every possible way.He would be generous.He had said so.His fortune made Denney look like pauper.Oh, God, what was she thinking?What she was thinking was that if she turned the squire away, her sisters did not have to continue on as impoverished young women with no possible future.If she turned the squire away, she could turn to the duke, who would be generous with her.Alexandra bit down hard on her lip.He had said he would be generous.And she would not mind being in his arms.To the contrary.She felt as if she needed his embrace, his passion.No, she did not need him; it was only that she missed Owen, who belonged to another now, and it had been so long….You deserve love.She jumped, looking at her mother, recalling Corey’s words.“He doesn’t love me.It will be merely an arrangement.”And it would be short-term.It would not be for life.Her mother smiled.Alexandra hugged the pillow harder, knowing that if her illicit affair were ever discovered, her fall from grace would irrevocably ruin her sisters.So there were terrible pitfalls ahead—if she really meant to go forward.“What should I do?” she asked.Elizabeth came forward, touching her hair, the caress a maternal one.I never meant for you to sacrifice yourself for your sisters, Alexandra.And I believe that deep within yourself, you know that.Her mother had never meant for her to sacrifice herself, but taking care of her sisters hadn’t been a sacrifice, had it? She smiled tearfully, but suddenly Elizabeth was gone.It didn’t matter.One thing was clear.She could not marry the squire.And her relief was overwhelming.“YOU LOCKED YOUR DOOR last night,” Corey said, wide-eyed.“I needed some privacy,” Alexandra told her, hurrying downstairs.Her mind was made up.She would not marry the squire and spend her life as his wife.She’d spent a very sleepless night, thinking about the duke and the arrangement he had in mind.There was trepidation, but there was also so much relief.Alexandra smiled at Corey and Olivia now.“By the way, I have changed my mind.I am not marrying the squire.”Their eyes widened.Alexandra reached the ground floor; Edgemont had not answered his door, and she assumed he’d fallen asleep in the library.He hadn’t gone out the night before.He’d gotten foxed at supper, instead, drinking several bottles of red wine.He was indeed in the library, asleep on the small sofa.Alexandra strode over to him and shook his shoulder.“Father? I am sorry to awaken you, but we must have a talk.”He winced, waking immediately, sitting up.“What? What time is it? Did I fall asleep?” The bleary look left his eyes.“You got engaged, by God! This calls for a drink.”She clasped his shoulder, restraining him from getting up.“It’s the next morning, Father.” She turned.“Olivia, would you bring Father his coffee?”“What time is it?” he groused, now glancing outside.“It’s only half past eight,” she said, sitting down beside him.“Father, I have come to my senses.Olivia and Corey have been right all along.I cannot—and will not—marry the squire simply for the means he can provide us.”Edgemont seemed confused, and then he was clearly taken aback.“You were engaged last night, Alexandra,” he warned.“No, Father, you and Mr.Denney agreed to a betrothal, but no one has signed a contract, and I am not wearing a betrothal ring.” She was firm.He stood up; so did she.“We are signing contracts tonight,” he said ominously.“We are announcing the betrothal, as well.”She stiffened.“I will not marry him.”Edgemont’s eyes widened.“You are the obedient one.You are the giving one.You are, in fact, exactly like your mother—the glue holding this family together.Of course you will marry Denney and save this family from ruin.”Guilt began.Clarewood seemed to give her a dark look, in her mind, as if he sensed she was about to back down and retreat.“I cannot marry him.”“You can and you will!” Edgemont shouted.“I am your father.I am head of this household.You will obey and respect me, Alexandra!”She trembled.“Sign what you will.I am twenty-six years old, and legally, I am my own keeper—I cannot be forced into marriage against my will.”He trembled with rage, and Alexandra thought he might hit her, when he’d never laid a hand on her, not once in her life [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]