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.“Have you been raped?”“Lana—”“I’m getting out of here.” She crossed the room, stopping in front of me with her hand out.“I’m going upstairs to pack so we can get the hell out of this godforsaken town.I’m sick of it already.Keys, please.”I handed over the keys, as anxious to be rid of her as she was to be gone.I waited for her to leave before I crossed the room, anxious to make up for the mistake I’d clearly made.I reached out to grab Maura, but she stepped back, raising her hands.“Angel, I—”“What the hell were you thinking bringing that woman here?” Her eyes were wide and brimming with tears.“And to share the most traumatic experience of my life with a total stranger? What gives you that right?”Shit.I was in even deeper than I thought.“Baby, I’m sorry.I know you work with rape victims.I thought you could help her.”Maura gestured to our surroundings.“In case you haven’t noticed, this isn’t a rape crisis center.This is my home, and you ambushed me.Did you even think to ask me how I would feel about this before you made the decision for me?”“No, I obviously should have.” I tried to reach for her, but she crossed the room to retrieve her purse.“Yeah, you should have.” She took her keys from her purse before walking into the kitchen to get her stainless steel coffee mug.“You don’t get to decide things for me.Especially not something of this magnitude.You brought that woman into my home, and she tore me down.” Maura took a shaky breath.“Don’t you think I feel bad enough for what happened to you and the role I played in it? Do you think I need your ex-girlfriend to remind me that I ruined your life?”“Sweetheart, that’s not why I brought her here, and you have nothing to feel guilty about.I keep telling you that.You did what you thought was right.I probably would have done the same thing in your position.And Lana’s not my girlfriend.You are.”“I don’t want someone in my life who arbitrarily makes decisions for me without considering my feelings.I got enough of that from my father.I’m a grown woman.I don’t need a man who thinks he can dictate to me and control me.”“Baby, come on.That’s not what I’m trying to do.” I could see her slipping away, and I was desperate to hold on, to erase the past few minutes from her memory.“I love you, Maura.I need you.”She gripped her purse in one hand and her coffee mug in another.“When you love someone, you’re courteous and respectful.What you did here this morning was neither.”It scared me that she was so calm, so guarded.I’d prefer a scene like the one in the hotel, where she was screaming and swearing at me.That kind of anger would peak and fizzle out, but this slowly simmering resentment terrified me because I feared it may be lasting.“I said I’m sorry about that.What can I do to make it up to you?” Grovelling was foreign to me, but I would do it to keep Maura in my life.I’d fucked up, and I had to figure out how to make things right.I couldn’t lose her.I wouldn’t lose her.“Tell me and I’ll do it.”“I have to go to work.” She made her way to the door.“I won’t be here when you get back.” I flinched when she whirled around, looking intent on killing me.Maybe calm and collected was better.“I… uh… have to head back to New York for a few days.George is going to the police today.If they have enough to charge Ben, his arraignment should be in a few days.I’ll be back for that.”“You don’t have to bother.I’m sure your hired gun will give you a full report.”“Don’t do this.” When her features remained frozen in anger, I whispered, “Fuck.Why do I keep screwing things up with you?”“Maybe it just wasn’t mean to be, Blaise.”When she used my alias with such disdain, I knew she was not-so-subtly reminding me of my lies and deceit.“How can you say that? You’re my life.My future.My fucking destiny.” It had been a long time since I’d been so vulnerable—probably since the night I’d proposed to her.“You can’t just walk away from that.I won’t let you!”“Where do we go from here?” Her anger finally receded as her face twisted in anguish.“As your girlfriend so aptly pointed out, I ruined your life.You are the way you are because of what I did to you.”“What the hell does that mean?” I asked, throwing up my hands.“What’s wrong with the way I am?” Aside from being a dumb-ass who sometimes acted before he thought about the consequences.“You’re broken.So am I [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]