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.“Yes, what you do for me is … astonishing.But that’s not the point: you’ve told me before it would trouble me to see you naked.”“I recall telling you that,” he said without much emotion of any kind, thinking back to the many, many times he had told others the same thing.“Past experience has shown me that my scars are upsetting.”“Scars, is it?”“Severe,” he confirmed.“They’re distressing to many who see them.” He had seen strong men flinch at the sight of them, and women become nauseated.“Do you still think I would be put off by them?” She was startled and saddened by the notion.“After all this? Whatever your scars are”—she privately thought it would turn out to be some kind of ritual scars or tattoos: she had heard that all manner of old noble families used to do things like that, and that perhaps some of them still did—“I don’t think it would extinguish the torch I’m carrying for you.”“That does not perturb me; I am prepared to accept that if I must.” To her surprise, he sighed.“No, I’m bothered by the sense that your curiosity is not likely to be satisfied with one or two simple explanations, and that could lead to more questions and more hazardous answers,” he said.“My curiosity is at the heart of me, Grof; I am an academic and the daughter of an academic, and I have cultivated skepticism most of my life,” she said, pulling as far away from him as the bed would allow.“If that’s a stumbling block, it is a major one.”“I like your curiosity, I like your capacity for thought, and I admire your academic work,” he told her.“Really? Doesn’t my intelligence worry you? Don’t you find it intimidating?” She had had that experience in the past, and had found it disquieting that so many men became defensive when dealing with a clever, well-educated woman.“I hadn’t thought you had such a problem, but I am beginning to wonder.”“I hope I do not.Over the years I have found intelligent women wonderful companions.” He thought of Olivia and Demetrice, of Hero and Padmiri, of Heugenet and Madelaine …“You mean lovers?” There was a challenge in her question; her chin was raised and her face became more angular.“In some instances,” he said, “but not in all of them.When there is a … an allurement, shall I call it? then perhaps I will venture into amorous association, but only so long as it is welcome, and the hazards are understood.”“And you felt such an allurement from me?” she demanded.“Well?”“Yes, I did.As did you.”The realization that he had been aware of her attraction from the first was disturbing for her.“So this ally talk was simply a device to get me here? A kind of lure?” She slapped the bedding with the flat of her hand.Suddenly she shook her head.“If I’ve overstepped the mark, just say so.I know I can get carried away with questions.”“Of course I didn’t scheme to draw you in,” he answered.“I am your ally whether you share my bed—”“Your guest bed,” she interjected.“Yes.My guest bed: whether you shared it with me or not.It’s not my practice to make my female authors show their appreciation by engaging in a dalliance as part of the publication process.” He held out his hand to her.“One has very little to do with the other: believe this.I would have responded to you if we shared a compartment on a train or attended the same lecture.And had there been no direct contact, I would not have sought you out.”“Not worth the trouble?” she asked.“You wear a wedding ring,” he answered.“I would prefer not to suborn infidelity.That does no one any good.” His compelling gaze rested on her, his sincerity apparent in every aspect of his demeanor.“Please, Charis.If you have doubts, tell me and I will try to my utmost to answer your questions as fully as I can.I’d rather answer questions than have you come to your own conclusions.”She sat still, thinking for more than a minute, then straightened up and crossed her legs tailor-fashion and looked directly at him [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]