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.' He saw how hard she was trying to be interested and happy for him, and his heart lurched.'Oh my darling, don't look like that!'‘I can't help it.I don't want you to go away,' Lucy said.‘Oh dear, what a shocking thing to say!’He laughed.'You absurd creature.Why shouldn't you say it?'‘Because it's weak and foolish.' She picked up his hand and rubbed her face against it like a cat.'When do you go? How long have we got? Why didn't you tell me sooner?'‘I only knew last night.The letter was waiting for me here, after I had left you.I have to join the Semele on the twelfth.That means I must take the mail the day after tomorrow.’Lucy tore herself away from him and walked about the room, her hands clenched together, her brow drawn in thought.His going back to sea was another of the things she had not allowed herself to think about.He would be gone two years, perhaps three, and who knew when she would see him again? But she must not make a fuss.Everything that happened to them, good and bad, had been implicit from the beginning, that day in Richmond Park.It had not been accidental, she saw that now.She had seen the clouds in the west before she ever left the house, as he must have done: though on her part it had been deeply subconscious, they had used the situation, and they could have no complaint to make about anything that happened afterwards, however much it hurt.She unclenched her hands and turned to him.He was watching her, his eyes bright and full of conflict.It did not occur to her for an instant that she was a rich woman, and could beg him not to go.The navy was his career, and even if she could have changed him, she would not have wanted to.She loved him, and her body and soul craved him as a thirsty man craves water, but her smile was calm as she said, ‘Well, then, we must not waste a minute of our two days.I will spend every moment with you, until you step onto the coach.’He stood up and put his arms round her, and felt her body press against him in an instinctive response.'Beginning now?' he said.‘This instant,' she said.Jeffrey watched them, his pale green eyes bright in his golden face.When he judged that they were too preoccupied to notice him, he took the opportunity to jump lightly onto the breakfast table and finish off the butter in the butter-dish.*He had gone.She had driven with him in a hired chaise to the coaching-inn to catch the mail, dry-eyed to the last, smiling as she gave him her farewell gift, a long silk muffler.‘Silk is very warm, you know, and won't absorb the damp as much as wool.' Bates was waiting for them at the inn, having gone on ahead with the luggage, and Jeffrey, cursing comprehensively in a covered basket.‘I hope he takes to the sea-faring life,' Lucy said.‘Oh, he'll love it.Cats have a wonderful time on board ships.' He climbed out of the chaise and closed the door, and Lucy let down the window and leaned through it to clasp both his hands.‘I won't wait until the mail leaves,' she said practically.‘You had better start putting your mind into naval frame.’He lifted her hands and kissed them.It was he who was close to tears.'You'll write to me?' She nodded.'And I'll write to you — under cover to Docwra.I expect she has brothers all over the world.The Irish always have.' His voice failed him on the last sentence.He kissed her, brief and hard, and went quickly away, and Lucy closed the window and lay back in the corner, closing her eyes as the chaise lurched away over the cobbles.She did not see her husband until dinner.They were dining at home for once, and without guests, which was fortunate.Docwra dressed her as though she were a rag doll, pushing her this way and that, and finally setting her in motion down the stairs when the bell rang.She entered the dining room to find Chetwyn already at the table.He stood and bowed to her; Hicks pulled out her chair and she sat; dinner began.Chetwyn tried one or two neutral remarks, to which Lucy responded with little more than a grunt.She picked listlessly at her food, and watching her he was suddenly moved with pity.He had been about to make some remark about Weston's departure, but desisted at the last moment.Her face was all planes and angles in the candlelight, as though drawn by a new artist with a firmer hand.Her eyes were bright, a faint flush along her cheekbones, her lips slightly parted above her pointed chin.He thought suddenly that she looked beautiful, not as a woman is beautiful, but like a wild animal, when it turns for an instant to look at you before it disappears into the undergrowth.When they had sat long enough before the untasted dishes.Lucy rose, and with a glance at Hicks, Chetwyn followed her into the drawing-room.She sat down on the edge of the sopha, and he took up his usual position leaning against the chimney-wall.Hicks furnished him with a glass of brandy, trimmed the candles, and retired [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]