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.The front entrance had to be nearby.She shielded her eyes from the hot glare.Clay was a great guy and probably a great catch for any woman, but he wasn’t meant to be hers.And why not? Too much distance? An ex-wife traipsing along behind them? And she’d always be there—no matter how infrequent her visits may be.Sydney would always know there would be a next one.Long slender legs in high heels would pop in every now and again and check on Q, Clay.Sydney swatted the image.And why couldn’t she hack it? What was stopping her from being with Clay? Why was it that she’d let some self-centered female with her own set of issues come between them, prevent her from going after what she wanted?Because she was insecure, handcuffed to doubt and a past that Clay would never understand.He would never understand what it felt like to have hot blades of jealousy cut through her every time she stepped near that woman, sliced her heart in two every time she imagined him thinking about her.It was an awful feeling, a feeling ingrained in her since childhood.Her mother’s insane drive toward perfection was a poor example for any woman to set for her daughter, and her father’s behavior only perpetuated the cycle.It laid a foundation of mistrust, instilled a lack of confidence regarding how others saw her, what they thought of her.Did they think she was good enough? Smart enough? Did they think she was attractive?Then her father left and it was as if he confirmed it.You’re not pretty enough, thin enough, young enough.Your skin is dropping into folds and creases and you’re no longer worthy of my affection.Nor is my daughter worth staying.You both lack what I need, what it takes to keep me here.It’s the reason Sydney swore off family.Marriage and kids weren’t her thing.That’s what other people did and from her experience, didn’t do it well.They divorced.They fought.They put their child smack in the middle of their problems.But not her.She was going to work, and achieve, and find value in her career.She was going to travel and experience life.She was going places and she wouldn’t depend on some man and his attention to get her there.Hadn’t she learned her lesson with Javier? How ugly a man could turn and how quickly, she thought bitterly.She once looked up to him, respected him.She once made him the center of her world and what did he do?Gawked at other women.He stared and lusted and made her feel small.It was a position she would never put herself in again.She would never be made to feel second-best—not to Morgan and not to Trish.Not to anyone.Clay had been a weak moment on her part.Alone since her break up with Javier, he’d made her feel beautiful, desirable.Images of Trish spit and popped in her mind’s eye.No thank you, she fumed, feeling stronger with every step she took.Clay and his ex represented the downside of love—divorce—and it was a chapter in her life she’d rather not repeat.Rounding the building corner, she spotted Sam standing beneath the porte-cochére.Good.She expelled a crisp sigh of relief.It was time to get this scene behind her.She waved and Sam waved back.First she’d call Charlie and check on things, then she’d swing by the office and begin to wrap things up.Venues had to be cleared, vendors had to be called.There were a ton of things to do and wasting her time with Clay was not helpful.“How’s Q?” Sam asked as she joined her under the awning.“He’s fine—or seems to be,” she clarified, grateful for the instant reprieve from the heat.“Clay thinks he’ll be fine.”“Good.Glad to hear it.” Sam gave her the once over as if to ask, why so brief? But seemed to think better of it.“My car is over there.” She pointed beyond a cluster of banyans, vines dripping down from the canopy, partially blocking the sight of her red sports car.Sam took off and Sydney followed.“Listen, please tell Jennifer I’m sorry for calling her to the hospital on her day off.” Though she found it odd for a doctor to take off on a Tuesday.“Oh, you didn’t.” Sam smiled and pulled the car keys from her purse.“What are you talking about? She wasn’t dressed for work.”“Didn’t I tell you? She turned over a new leaf when she met Jax.”Sydney vaguely recalled the story of how the two met, something about he was her gardener, or lawn guy.At the time she was engaged to be married—to someone else.But it seemed the two hooked up and out went the wedding.With the original fiancé, anyway.Apparently a lot of people seek “greener” pastures, even after professing their love and commitment.“So what is she doing now?”“She and Jax do missionary work throughout the Caribbean.They sail around on his boat, stopping to help sick people island by island.A real couple of beach angels, those two.” Sam grinned, pleased by her metaphor.The comparison invoked thoughts of Clay.He was a sailor.Had he ever been to the Caribbean? Did he like the islands, the crystalline blue waters offering up miles of freedom and time? Or was racing all he cared to do, hell bent on getting from one place to the next before anyone else.There was so much about Clay she didn’t know.Two weeks had not been nearly enough time.“Anyway, when they’re stateside, she runs a clinic that provides free care to the poor and they don’t care how she dresses.Though personally, I think Jax is the reason she’s mellowed.Really loosened her right up, if you know what I mean.” Sam grinned again, this time with a lascivious gleam in her eye.She pressed the auto unlock for her Mercedes.Which could only mean she was talking sex.Sydney mused, flipping her gaze up into the trees.How unusual.It explained the tan, anyway.Probably an allover tan, if what Sam was alluding to was true.“How can they afford to do that? I mean, medicine costs money.It doesn’t grow on trees.”“Independently wealthy,” she replied.Sydney blew a wisp of hair from her eyes.“Must be nice.”“Not really.” Sam opened her door.“It’s due to an inheritance from her parents’ estate.Her mom died a couple of years ago leaving Jen with a boatload of money.Add what she gleaned from the sale of her home in the Gables and she’s doing quite well.Besides, Jax earns money doing landscape work while they’re in the islands.”“Really?”Sam laughed and grabbed hold of her car door rim.“Oh, you should see some of the landscapes he does.While she’s busy healing the poor, he’s out designing gorgeous lawns for million dollar homes!” She shook her head.“What a life.”Yes, what a life, she thought and clasped the passenger door handle.Smooth steel filled her palm as she imagined a life of travel, luxury, doing the work you love with the person you love by your side.Definitely a life she could get used to.And should.She opened the door and eased down to the leather bucket seat.She was still young.She could still change course, alter her direction.What would you do if you knew you would not fail? It sure as heck wouldn’t be gluing herself to a dead-end job like she had with JL Conventions, a boss who didn’t appreciate her and a coworker out to get her fired.# # #Five o’clock came much too soon.Sydney had done nothing but pick up her car, drive by her office then back to the hospital.Charlie had done his good deed for the day and checked out her venues reporting to her that all was well.She thanked him, though it still stuck in her craw that it took a child’s near death experience for him to turn decent.A decency that was short-lived [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]