[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
.”Evan put down his menu.“It happens.You think one thing the majority of your life and then that changes.”“I really don't want to be fifty and suddenly want to sleep with women.” Griffin drank the rest of his water.“No offense.”“None taken.”The waitress finally realized they were sitting in the corner and popped over to offer drinks and take their order.Evan demurred on something from the bar, but Griffin ordered a double martini.“I'll behave, I promise,” he said as she walked away.“Good, glad to hear it.” Evan played with the napkin for a moment.“And I hope for your friend's sake that she and Bennet are truly happy together.”“Hmmm, yeah.I try not to worry about her, but I can't help it.It's second nature,” Griffin said sadly.“She's an awesome person for all her faults.I just don't want to be her keeper anymore.I have Jim, and I like concentrating on taking care of him.”“You don't seem to be his—keeper.”“Nah, it's not the same thing.It's actually much nicer to go home to someone who isn't sometimes a life-draining emotional vampire.” Griffin cleared his throat.“I say that with love.”“Of course,” Evan smiled.“Jim's a—he seems like a very nice guy.”“And you hate his guts.”Evan held up his hand.“I never said…”“You didn't have to.That night at dinner I thought you were going throw down at some point.Just…boom—right in the mouth.” Griffin made a fist.“I would never punch him,” Evan said, uncomfortable now.“Probably not, but you did think about it.Come on, it's okay.You're jealous.” Griffin's voice dropped conspiratorially.“Me too.”“Of Matt?”“Hell yeah.You know, Jim doesn't talk to any of his exes.Not a one.I couldn't even get a damn name out of the man.But Matt's his pal.That's kinda…”“Weird.”“Yeah, weird.” Griffin smiled.“But okay.I'm really okay with it.It's stupid to imagine being with only one person in your whole life.”Evan huffed a smile of his own.“Not that stupid.For some people, it's a goal.”“I guess.So you—you were with your wife for a long time?”“Almost twenty years from when we first met.”“And you never dated anyone else?”“No, not until Matt.”Griffin whistled.“Wow.”“But weird.”“Twenty years with a woman and then a guy? That's pretty intense.” Griffin looked at him speculatively.“Must've freaked you out.”“In ways you can't even imagine.” Evan sighed.The conversation was segueing where he needed it to go even as he fought the urge to move it away.“Oh I can imagine!” Griffin chuckled.“I always knew I was gay—or I should say, I never had a question, just the answer.Like I imagine most straight people just know they're straight.It was okay, till I started learning about sex.I mean—straight sex, shocking enough, but the rest of it? I was like—no way, seriously.” Griffin cracked himself up.“I briefly considered celibacy.”“Then what happened?” Evan took a deep breath.“High school boyfriend, slightly older with apparent access to a lot of information.” Griffin smirked.“He liked to play master/apprentice, and I got a good education.”“So you and he…” Evan gestured, then blushed.“You did…everything.”“Everything ever? No.I was willing, but I also had a lot of homework junior year.”Evan rolled his eyes.“You know what I mean?”“Yeah, I do, but it's kinda fun to tease you.” Griffin smiled sweetly.“You cop types, Jesus Christ on a pony.You're all so damn uptight.And you're in vice, for heaven's sake! You must've busted a few rings of like…stolen sex toys or something.”“No.No, I haven't.” Evan's cheeks burned.“You should.That would make an excellent porno.Speaking of which…” Griffin's voice dropped way low even though there was no one in sight.“You know, if you're like—looking for information or stuff, a good porno cannot be counted out.You have to remember these guys are professionals, and the first few times it's not that awesomely fun, and also most guys aren't hung like that.But you know, it's good information.”Sweat pooled behind Evan's ears.Oh this was a mistake.“I already have—seen.Several things.”“Good, good.I mean, I'll admit it.The first time I was like—no freakin' way.Just blow me or something.” Griffin caught himself and coughed.“But patience can be a good thing.”Evan resisted the urge to crawl under the table.His curiosity still burned.“So you got used to it?”“It?” Griffin shrugged.“Yeah.But that makes it sound like a chore.” He waggled his eyebrows.“And it's not.Especially when I figured out what I wanted.”“So you've done…both.” Evan shrugged out of his suit jacket, letting the cool air of the fan hit the back of his neck.“Sure.Best way to figure out what you like.And I like to mix it up now and then, but with Jim…” Griffin paused.“Okay, if I say stuff that's personal, you're not going to freak, right?”“No, I'm not going to freak.Just—go easy on the descriptive words.”“Okay, sensitive soul—with Jim, it just fits.What he needs and wants and what I need and want—they fit.He doesn't care if I never want to, uh, okay, does 'bottom' work for you as a descriptor?”Evan died a little but nodded.“Sure.”“Good.So—he doesn't care if I never want to because what works with us is me on the top and him on the bottom and various other stuff.” Griffin's smile was teasing.“You want like little sketches on my napkin?”“No.”“Did our waitress go to Iceland for my vodka?” he asked, looking over Evan's shoulder.“So Jim likes… Jim is…” Evan's voice cracked.“Yeah.” Griffin crumbled up his napkin and threw it at Evan's head.“Come on now, no stereotyping please.He's older and bigger and hot like burning fire and I'm a nerd in glasses, so that's not possible?”“I never said that!”“But you kinda thought it.”Evan picked the crumpled napkin from the floor.“It is a stereotype, and sometimes when you don't have a frame of reference…”“Fine, whatever.You're excused, but don't make the same mistake again.” Griffin shook his head.“I mean, what if I met you when you were married to your wife and assumed you were a giant abusive asshole—because cops have a rep sometimes? What would she have done if I said that?”“Given you an earful.” Evan smiled and ducked his head.“As well she should.Maybe I'm right and maybe I'm wrong, but I should probably wait until I have more information than just shit I've heard from people who don't know.And oh, thank God.This better be the greatest martini ever.”The waitress didn't apologize for the endless delay, leaving their drinks and a bread basket before disappearing again.“Eat up, this may be the only thing we're getting.” Evan sighed.“I'll make do.” He slurped down half his martini with a happy sigh.“Brilliant.Too bad I'll never see her again to ask for another.” He gestured toward Evan with his glass.“How am I doing with the help thing?”“Pretty good,” Evan admitted.“It's kinda nice to talk to someone about this stuff [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]