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.“Well, what am I doing making you stand out here like this?” he says, shaking his head.“Come on in, honey.We can sit down and catch up.”I nod and follow him into the house.James’s mom and dad’s house is a little older than the house I grew up in, mostly because my dad had money when my parents moved in, and my mom kept the place in the divorce.James’s family didn’t come from money, and they moved to our neighborhood from the cheaper part of the suburbs.His dad had bought the place when it was kind of rundown and fixed it up himself with the same group of guys who worked for the landscaping business.Jon is a self-made man, the kind of guy who believes in the honor of a hard day’s work.That’s probably why he likes me so much.I was always an A+ student, always finished my homework on time, and did extra credit.I had a strong work ethic…unlike a certain charismatic boy with the body of a Greek god.As we enter the house, I’m struck by the pictures on the walls—or lack thereof.James told me a long time ago that his dad had taken down every single photograph of him, but I thought he was exaggerating.There isn’t as much as a wallet-sized picture of James in sight.It’s kind of unsettling, and I feel bad that James’s career has essentially cost him his family.Now it’s indirectly cost him my friendship too.I sit down with James’s dad on the back porch, sipping coffee as he asks me about my life.It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him, and it makes me feel cozy to be here in James’s house, shooting the shit with his dad.It reminds me of growing up, of the time before James’s dick was on every porn site on the Internet, before double-crossing friends and fucked-up ex-dominatrices who are now in possession of a very private video of me.For a second, I feel like a kid again, like my future is all out in front of me and I’m not tied down with any grown-up issues.Jon is very cordial and friendly, and he tells me to feel free to join him and Brenda for dinner any night I choose.I shuffle back to my empty house and curl up on my squeaky metal bed.I pull my old floral duvet over my head and opt to try sleeping my blues away.It’s late afternoon when I’m startled awake by the doorbell.I assume it’s Jon coming to check on me and invite me to dinner with him and Brenda, so I pop on my yoga pants and run my fingers through my tangled hair as I go to answer the door.I swing the door open and my jaw drops.Standing on my doorstep, looking a bit disheveled in worn-out black jeans and a white, deep V-neck shirt that reveals a delicious peek at those finely sculpted pecs is James motherfuckin’ Laird.Chapter 22JamesLOLA QUICKLY ATTEMPTS TO SLAM the door in my face, but I push it back open and step inside the house.“Lo, please, please let me just try to explain.” My words come out all gravelly from how much I cried on the drive here.She turns her back to me and walks down the hallway.I close the door and follow her every step of the way.She won’t look at me, won’t talk to me, won’t even acknowledge me.She goes straight to her bedroom, and I stop in the doorway when she climbs back into the bed and buries herself under the covers.She sniffles, and I can see her shoulders shaking a little.She’s crying, and I feel like such a fuckin’ asshole!“Lo, baby, I’m so sorry,” I say softly as I go to her and rest my hand on her over the blanket.“Go away, James,” she croaks between sniffles.“I can’t, Lola.” I rub her shoulder as she continues to cry under the shield of the sheets.“I’m not leaving until I get a chance to talk to you.”She sniffles, and she peeks her head out from under the comforter.“How did you know I was here?”Just seeing her face—even though it’s streaked with tears—makes me feel calm and happy.I reach out to touch her, and she recoils like she’s disgusted by me.The thought is agonizing, and it’s like she just kicked me in the chest with one of her size-six stilettos.“Savannah Slade told me.” Her eyes get wide, and she looks completely surprised by that answer.“You talked to Stacey?” she says, her sadness turning to amusement for a quick second.“Yeah.” I nod.“I called you, like, three hundred times.I probably sent you a thousand texts, but you didn’t answer.I Facebooked you.I even tried putting a note under your door.I was really freaking out, baby, because Eva has made all these threats and I was worried that she’d kidnapped you or something.I remembered you saying that you talked to Savannah, so I tracked her down and asked her, and she said you went back home.”“You didn’t scare her or intimidate her into telling you, did you?” she snaps.It hurts me that she thinks I’d do that, but she knows how I can get when I’m worried, especially if it’s something that involves her.“No, no way,” I reply, softly rubbing her shoulder over the sheets.She’s letting me touch her and she isn’t shrinking away from me, which has to be a good sign.“I told her that I really fucked up and she understood, so she told me where you were and that I should go tell you how sorry I am.”Lola’s lips curve into a smile, albeit a very slight one.“You basically saved that girl’s life.” I praise her, and it’s true.Stacey, as Lola calls her, was a fuckin’ wreck when I first met her, but when I saw her a couple days ago, she seemed so much more confident and alive.Lola can always put a spring in your step, so I’m not surprised.“She told me you said I was like an angel.” She sniffles.“I did say that,” I softly reply.“Lola, you are like an angel to me.What I did to you was inexcusable.I can’t defend it.All I can try to do is explain it.I was in a fucked-up situation.I thought I could get out of it without having to hurt anybody.I realized in the middle of things that it was super fucked-up to tape you like that, so I stopped
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