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.”“There weren’t any road blocks on the way up,” Sheepskin said, handing me the flask cup.“They still think I’m in the area,” I said.“Shouldn’t have any trouble, then.”I took the tea and drank.The car turned on to the dual-carriageway and began to pick up speed.On my right were the playing fields.“Plenty of Filth about at any rate,” Sheepskin said, twisting round in his seat and looking through the rear window at the police cars and van still parked by the playing fields.The tea spread through my body and I began to feel a wonderful weak helplessness.No more decisions, no more risks.They were being taken for me.I felt like a child again.Protected and cared for.The town disappeared behind us and we were in the limbo of the night motor-way, unrelated to the real world.I emptied the cup and sank back in the warm upholstery.Sheepskin turned round again.“Want some more?” he said.I shook my head.“How are you feeling now?”“Fine,” I said.“Fine.”“Wait till you see the papers,” he said.“You’ll feel even better.Christ, you’re the biggest thing since Hiroshima.I mean.”The driver cut in on Sheepskin.“Later,” he said.“Leave it till later.All he wants to do now is to sleep.Don’t you, Billy?”Part ThreeI awoke.The first thing was the perfume.That was the first thing I noticed.The soft sweet smell of Sheila’s body drifting into my senses.I opened my eyes and turned my head.Sheila was in a deep sleep.Dark auburn hair tumbled over the pillow and over her bare shoulders.Her breath was soft and slow.I could feel the light warmth of it on my neck.I looked at her a long time before I turned away.Then I just lay there and enjoyed the luxury of the traffic sounds in the high street beyond the bedroom window.Rumbling lorries and swishing cars and blaring motorhorns.It was music.After a while I slipped from the bed and walked quickly over to the door of the adjoining bedroom and opened it without making a sound.Timmy was still asleep in his cot.I moved across the room and knelt down and looked through the bars.Timmy was lying on his back, his arms stretched out above his head, palms turned upwards, his face blank with innocence.I knelt there, waiting for him to wake up.After a time, I felt a shadow behind me.I turned my head.Sheila was standing in the doorway.I saw from her face that she’d been watching me for some time.She didn’t say anything.She didn’t even look a certain way.But almost as soon as I saw her I got up and walked towards the door.Then she moved too, away from the door, back towards the bed in our room.As she lay down and I lay down on top of her she whispered in my ear:“You can wake Timmy up later.Only otherwise we’d have to have waited till tonight again, wouldn’t we?”Breakfast.The transistor’s tiny burble.The all-embracing smell of fried bacon.Timmy chattering in his high chair.Sheila talking as she prodded along the breakfast in the frying pan.“.so there was no bother.He never thought anything of it.Just accepted that you were on nights and that was it.In any case, you don’t actually have to go through the shop to get in and out.Well, you probably saw last night.You go down the stairs and along the passage and out through the other door.It’s perfect.”“Did you tell your ma?”She shook her head.“She knows I’m with you.But she doesn’t know where.”“And?”“What do you think?”“Yeah.”I poured another cup of tea.“And nobody else knows where we are.”“Only Ronnie.”I drank some tea.“It doesn’t matter, does it?” Sheila said.“Only I thought.”“No, it doesn’t matter,” I said.“Ronnie’s all right.”“I mean I played it safe.I only came here the once, to take the place.And I came in the wig and all.”“It’s all right, love.Don’t worry about it.You’ve done fine.”I mopped my plate with a piece of bread and crumpled up the bread and ate it.Sheila poured me another cup of tea.I drained the cup and leant back in my chair and gave Sheila a cigarette and lit us both up.As Sheila blew out the smoke she said:“Do you feel like talking yet?”I grinned at her.“Do me a favour,” I said.“You didn’t exactly give me much chance last night.Or this morning.”“You know what I mean, Billy, and don’t be so bleeding saucy.I mean about the future.”“Yeah, all right,” I said.“I don’t mind talking about the future.”She put her elbows on the table and looked into my face.“Well,” I said, “this is how I see it: we’re all right for money.We’ve no immediate worries on that score.In fact if we were going to stay put we’d be all right for well over eighteen months.It was lucky for me that Ronnie was on the job with me.Some of them wouldn’t have handed over if they didn’t have to.”“He let me have it the day after you went down.”I nodded.“But anyway.We’d be all right if we were going to stay put.But we can’t stay put, can we?”Sheila looked down at the table.“If we want a future it’s got to be bought.Somewhere other than this country.And that’ll take care of most of the money, the way we’d have to go.”I stubbed my cigarette out in the ashtray.“But it’s a vicious circle.We can’t move yet.Not for six months.Maybe not for even a year.And by that time we’ll be well into our money and there wouldn’t be enough left in the kitty to pay for the kind of passage we’ll need.So where does that get us?”She waited for me to tell her.“For a start,” I said, “you don’t have to worry about me [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]