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.I’m no good for you.”Her cheeks reddened as she punched her pillow behind her back.“Says who? Vic?”“Vic’s only pointing out the obvious.I don’t have the best track record when it comes to choosing others over myself.” He hissed out a breath.“And you should have nothing less.”“But it’s not that sim—”“What would your mother think of you settling for me?”Her hesitation said more than words ever could.His concerns about leaving her faded under the certainty that he had no other option.This wasn’t about what was better for him or what he wished like hell he could keep in his life.Her.This was about what was best for Jill, now and in the future, when the brief high of their relationship had faded into bitterness over who he would never be.“Consider this agreement ended,” he said.“One more thing I couldn’t hold up my end of the bargain on.” Without giving her a chance to weaken his resolve, he did what everyone expected.He walked out the door.Once he reached the hallway outside her apartment, he stopped trying not to limp.…Against all odds, she somehow slept.Not even dreams kept her company in the night.And when she woke, she knew he hadn’t returned.She wouldn’t sit up and find him in her bathroom, looking deliciously sexy in his towel and smelling of her soap.She pressed her face into the pillow, searching for his citrus-and-sandalwood scent.That no longer remained, either.Her eyes grew damp, but she refused to open them and let the tears escape.She’d had her chance to reach him, and she’d failed.Sex was how he preferred to communicate, and she’d tried to prove to him that she wasn’t some sweet kid who couldn’t handle his needs.Hell, who was to say he could handle all of hers? She hadn’t begun to get a grip on them yet.For all she knew, she’d develop a host of wild fetishes and end up shoving him past his comfort zone.If he ever came back.It had been even worse when she’d tried to convince him to stay without pouring out her feelings.Perhaps she should have.But God, she’d been so frightened he would reject her outright if she told him she loved him that she’d fallen back on that hardline comment about him owing her a date.He didn’t owe her anything, except another chance for her to get loving him right.She had to keep it together.After the night they’d spent together, there was no way he could leave her permanently.He had team business to attend to, and yes, the Vic thing had been a speed bump, but everyone knew Vic tended to speak without thinking and could challenge a mama bear for the title of Most Overprotective.She adored her brother.She’d adore him even more when she learned all the sweet things he’d been doing lately.Interceding on their father’s behalf to bring him to the wedding, trying with their mom, even spending time with Dillon at the Helping Hands houses, according to what he’d told her the other morning.And how he’d been with the kittens.Why he hid all of the good sides of his nature, Jill didn’t know.It was as if he didn’t want people to expect him to be a decent guy in case he couldn’t live up to it.But he was, in so many ways.Swallowing hard, she grabbed her phone and called the cat rescue center.Once she ascertained Ernie was stable and doing as well as could be expected, she sent Bryan a quick text.It took everything she possessed to stay casual.Maybe we can do a rewrite on last night’s convo? Let me know.XOAs soon as she sent it, she regretted the XO.Too clingy? Too nonchalant? Cripes, how was she supposed to know how to react in this situation? Her limited range of life experiences didn’t extend to this.She’d never had an actual boyfriend that lasted more than a month, and that had been a while ago.God knew she had no experience with lovers.And Bryan didn’t fit neatly into any of those categories.She shivered and bit her lip at the renewed sting in her bottom.Last night had been beyond words.She’d never felt closer to anyone than she had to him.But he’d just…left.She stared at her phone, willing it to ring.When it became clear it wouldn’t, she called Vic.Her best friend answered on the second ring.“Oh, thank God.I’ve been sitting here hoping you would call.Do you hate me? Please don’t hate me.I swear, I’ll butt out.I’ll never say anything about you being with Bryan ever again, I promise.” She huffed out a breath.“If he makes you happy, it makes me happy.All I ever wanted is for you both to be in a good place.”“He wasn’t here when I woke up,” Jill whispered.“He got the call to go back to his team, and I didn’t explain how I felt.I did it all wrong.Then he left.This morning I texted him, but he hasn’t answered.”Vic didn’t answer for so long that Jill hunched her shoulders and burrowed deeper into the pillows.“He’s backing off because of me,” Vic said flatly.“That would be an easy explanation, but I think there may be more to it than that.His agent wanted him back in Maryland now for team business.He has a life there.” She dabbed at her cheeks.“And God, I can’t convince him I don’t need his protection from himself.”“Protection how?”“All the same things you mentioned.He’s the bad boy, I’m the good girl.Except I’m not nearly that good, and he’s not that bad.” She hesitated, straddling the best friend vs.TMI line.“So, ah, we do stuff in bed.”“I should hope so.Otherwise, I’d be lecturing you for a different reason.”“I mean, we play games.Roleplaying stuff.We use blindfolds and toys.And last night, he spanked me.” And she probably doesn’t want to know the rest.“Wow, you certainly went from zero to sixty in a heartbeat.I didn’t start using blindfolds and toys with a lover for at least six months or so.Though my first sexual experience was at the water tower in the center of town, so I guess I can’t talk.Anyhoo.You’re okay with all that?”“I am.I’ve always wanted to explore, and it’s Bryan who made me feel comfortable doing it.Everything feels right with him.I’ve known him so long that aside from a bit of nerves on my end, it seems almost natural to fall into the roles we have.” She rubbed her sore eyes.“This is weird.We shouldn’t be talking about this.He’s your brother.”“Did I or did I not tell you about the hot wax incident?”“Yes.”“The tying up in the barn incident?”Jill’s lips twitched.“Uh-huh.”“The yoga studio sex that—”“Okay, stop bragging.I get it.You and Cory are freaks.What’s your point?”“You haven’t been sharing any dirty stuff with me.Which means you’re overdue.I’ll pretend it doesn’t involve Bryan.We’ll call him Thor.”“Thor?” Jill couldn’t stifle her giggle.“Well, that is surprisingly accurate.”“Eww.Eww.Stop.No descriptions of body parts.General terms only [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]