[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
.Doug obviously realised that he had an especially easy touch on his hands, for the next day he asked if he could move in.Carol was probably ready to tie him to her bedposts by now but she contented herself with just saying yes.He also asked if he could have a pair of her knickers to wear so that he’d spend the day feeling close to her - he had been wearing women’s clothes since he was four years old.When Carol bashfully handed over her large colourless panties, he handed them back saying that they were too big for him.It must have been obvious to Doug just by looking at Carol that her panties would be capacious so this was clearly a move to make her feel uncertain about herself, to humiliate her.Doug Clark would prove to be another Ian Brady or Gerald Gallego, men who pick up insecure women and confuse them with a mixture of insults and pretend love until the woman feels she is nothing on her own.Carol’s eyesight had now improved enough for her to go back to work as a vocational nurse.Doug was an engineer in a factory but he made it clear that he was an educated man who could do better.He seemed to like Carol’s sons and they initially liked him, so life was looking up.Carol had always enjoyed bondage and humiliation and Doug was eager to try it so they had fun in the bedroom.Doug took her to her sadomasochistic limits and Carol was eager to find out how far she was willing to go.She got in all Doug’s favourite foods and fixed him all his favourite meals.Soon she was even bringing his lunch to him each day at the factory.She bought a station wagon for herself because he admired it, but when she found it hard to drive she gave it to him.Carol bought Doug clothes and gifts and praised him lavishly in an attempt to keep him by her side.Deep down Doug hated almost everyone, perhaps because his parents had sent him abroad to boarding school and hardly ever visited.His mother had migraines and his father worked long hours and was rigid in his behaviour, but psychiatrists were later convinced that something much darker than this must have happened in Doug’s early home life.Now he no longer had to hide his contempt of Carol - after all, she loved him no matter what he did.She left him notes saying that their minds were exactly similar, that no one had made her feel the way he made her feel.He started to stay away for days at a time, clearly sleeping with other overweight and unloved women.Carol was so distraught that she drank, which played havoc with her diabetes and her always volatile disposition.She also answered an advert in a singles magazine and started seeing another man through it.Her new partner, who was very rich and very overweight, wanted marriage but soon saw that Carol was emotionally lost.She would sleep with Jack Murray one week if his other girlfriends weren’t available, and sleep with Doug Clark the next.Carol told this new man all about the sadness in her life and he urged her to start protecting herself from these exploitative men and to close the joint account with Jack Murray.But Carol didn’t want to hurt Jack’s feelings so kept the joint account open, sure that he wouldn’t abuse the privilege.She simply couldn’t believe that she was a worthwhile companion to be with for her own sake and in the end the new lover walked out of her life.Folie à deuxReassured that he had her unconditional love, Doug now said that he’d always wondered what it would be like to abduct a girl for sex and commit a murder.Pleased that he was sharing his fantasies with her, Carol asked him for further details.Doug said that he’d like to have a woman fellate him as she died.They started to talk more and more of murder and of keeping love slaves, and Carol convinced herself that this gave them a special bond.Incredibly, she let Doug bring his other girlfriends home and sometimes sleep with them in her bed.Carol felt sad and hurt and worthless as she sat alone in the adjoining room.Doug had said that she was completely unattractive to him and that he preferred other women.But at least he was sharing his murderous daydreams with her…In April 1980 he asked her to buy two guns - and Carol did so.He asked her to come out with him to find a prostitute.The desperate Carol did this too.She even paid the prostitute to go down on Doug in the front seat whilst she, Carol, watched quietly from the back.The session was not a success as Doug, whose sexuality had always been fantasy and masturbation-based, was becoming impotent during ordinary sex.Doug now knew that he could do anything he wanted and Carol wouldn’t object.He hit her sons - and persuaded her to hit them too.She even used a belt on them as her father had done to her.He also took her car and brought it back damaged - he’d later admit that a death struggle with a sex partner had caused the gearshift to break.Doug allegedly injures a prostituteHe came home with scratches on his face and blood on his clothes and Carol tried to persuade her sons that he’d been in an accident.Later he came back to Carol with blood all over him and told her he’d been in a fight.In truth, he may have stabbed a prostitute who was giving him oral sex in his car, but she had managed to kick the door open and throw herself onto the street.Carol knew that Doug was lying, that he’d started to act out his fantasies, but she pretended to believe his tales.She now - early June 1980 - sent her sons away to live permanently with their father, who immediately sent them on to his parents.For years she had seen her role as that of wife and mother, had cooked and cleaned the house and did the laundry, so that her children were well fed and beautifully dressed.Now she had turned her back on that role and found herself a new role as the unshockable accomplice of a potential murderer, a man with whom she was totally obsessed.Carol sold the children’s bunkbeds and planned to move to a house closer to Doug’s work [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]