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.“What’s happening to me? I am losing myself.” She pushed back from the table and ran from the room.Kalianne hurried after her, calling her name.Elin knew the feeling her mother was experiencing.There were times she wanted to run crying from the room too.In another few months, would either of them be the women they were a year ago?SIXTEENThe motorboat rocked in the waves offshore.Pinpricks of light from the house’s windows looked like fireflies on the hillside.The wind tangled Elin’s curls, and she wished she’d thought to tie back her hair before coming out here tonight.Was this really a good idea? Nervousness rippled over her spine and heightened every sense: the smell of the sea, the roar of the engine, the taste of the salt on her lips.Abby hadn’t wanted her to do this, and she was likely watching out the window at the boat’s lights offshore.She would be praying for Elin too, a thought that comforted her.Marc’s figure loomed in front of her, and he sat beside her.“You look like you’re about to jump overboard.We don’t have to go through with it.”“I can do this.” The words bolstered her flagging courage.“I have to figure out who he is.He might have done this before, and he might do it again.”“It’s a brave thing to try.Sara and I will be right here with you.If it gets too scary, we won’t press you.” He reached over and took her hand.She clung to his strong fingers, then forced herself to release them.“I don’t want to have to do this more than once, so let’s find out all we can.”She looked around the boat.It was a forty-five-foot vessel with a large deck area.Not at all like the cruise ship where Laura died.Would this even work? Maybe they should have tried to get aboard the same kind of boat.The engine cut off, then Sara stepped toward them.“Ready? Let’s go around to the other side of the boat.Laura was found on the aft deck.I’ve got the cologne.”“And I have the red sweater.” Marc rose and held out his hand.Her fingers curled around his, and his strength gave her courage to stand.If she could hold his hand the entire time, she might make it through this.She dreaded the memories, the dreams.This was the first time she’d ever consciously tried to re-create what happened that night.What if she wasn’t Elin Summerall when this was over? What if Laura’s memories crushed out her own?She forced herself to walk with Marc to the other side of the craft.At the first sight of the life jackets, she stumbled.Those bright-orange flotation devices brought a hazy memory floating to her.And the smell of the canvas, moldy and pungent, made her feel as though she had no air.Marc steadied her.“You okay?”She managed to smile and nod.“Fine.” His skeptical gaze remained on her face, and she lifted her head.“I’ll be okay.Let’s get this over with.”“Okay, I’ve tried to re-create as much of that day as I can remember.” Sara pointed to the life preservers.“She was under a pile of PFDs.Her feet were here.” She moved to the end of a bench just to the left of the orange pile.Elin edged closer, though the stronger scent of mold made her want to retch.“What was I—she—wearing?”“White shorts and a red tank top.Her hair was up in a ponytail, and her feet were bare.”Elin’s hand went to her throat.She could almost see a woman’s outline under the pile of life jackets.Her breathing came hard and labored in her chest.She couldn’t breathe, and she took a step back.Marc’s warm hand touched her back.“Ready to try this?”She nodded, unable to speak, wishing she could change her mind.But Josie was counting on her.She had to protect her daughter.Marc pulled out a length of piano wire.“He used something like this to choke her.” He opened the bag in his hand.“Here’s the sweater.I doused it with the cologne.”Elin’s fingertips had no feeling in them as she closed her hand around the sweater Sara thrust at her.She stepped to the railing and looked out over the dark water.She’d seen Theo kissing another woman, and all she wanted to do right now was cry.Laura staggered to the railing and rubbed her damp eyes.When a footfall sounded behind her, she thought it might be him following her to apologize.Well, let him try.If he thought she would forget it, he was very wrong.Then she caught a whiff of the cologne.It wasn’t Theo.She stiffened and turned to go, but strong fingers gripped her arm.A voice as smooth as a calm sea whispered against her neck, “Don’t go.I was looking for you.Just for you.” His hand touched her upper arm, then moved to the back of her neck.“I could kill her for you.Theo would never kiss her again.You don’t deserve that kind of treatment.Or do you?” His fingers brushed her neck before the tweak of a hard pinch made her flinch.Her limbs turned to ice.She pulled away and started for the inside deck [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]