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."What do you mean?" he asked Jessie."Look, I don't know much, only what my dad told us.He seemed to have some experience with this sort of thing and he said that it's going to be very difficult and painful for Gav, that the baby might not even survive, and that Gav himself is at risk.Male bodies just aren't built for pregnancy."Just the idea of losing Gavin made Saul's blood run cold."Thanks.Thanks for telling me.I'll speak to him."Jessie frowned in obvious concern."Maybe he'll listen to you.Or maybe you'll find a better solution now that you're together.Just let me know what you decide, okay? I'm very worried."On impulse, Saul hugged Jessie.It felt strange, but kind of nice and familiar, like touching a pack member, or maybe even a sibling."Thanks.We will."Jessie broke away from the embrace and smiled awkwardly."Okay, before this can get more embarrassing, I'm off.Take care of Gavin for me—or I'll hunt you down and rip out your testicles, no matter how much of a badass you are."With that parting shot, Jessie turned on his heel and walked away.As soon as the other man was gone, Saul rushed back to the apartment.He found Gavin out of bed, staring at himself in the mirror and rubbing his now swollen belly.Saul's heart clenched and his knees almost gave out.He'd never thought he could be so happy and so distressed at the same time."You're more beautiful than ever," he heard himself say.Gavin turned toward Saul and grinned."I admit I didn't really feel beautiful until I knew why I suddenly gained so much weight." His expression sobered as he met Saul's eyes."Jess told you about what the doctor said," he guessed correctly.Saul walked to Gavin's side and hugged Gavin's back, burying his nose in Gavin's hair and inhaling deeply."I don't want to risk your life for anything.I'm just.I'm so worried I'll lose you.Moon be blessed, I didn't even get the chance to truly earn your trust.I can't think about a future we won't share."Gavin broke free from Saul's arm and took his hand, guiding him to the bed."Come.Sit down with me."Saul complied.He couldn't have denied his lover to save his life.As they both sat on the mattress, Gavin said, "I want you to listen to this very carefully.Promise you will, because it's not easy for me to speak about it."Saul didn't like the sound of that, but he saw the decision in Gavin's lovely brown eyes."I understand."Squeezing Saul's hand, Gavin started to speak."My first memory as a child is a happy one.I remember living in a big house with my parents, and in that particular memory, we were playing in the yard.I had a garden hose and I was spraying my parents with it.My father finally disarmed me, but by then, we were all sopping wet." He smiled distantly, as if he could still see the image in his mind.The smile didn't last."A few months after that, my father lost his job.He started drinking, then gambling.In the end, we lost everything and we had to move to this hole in the wall apartment.I missed the big yard, but by then, I just wanted us to be a family again, for Mommy and Daddy to smile like they used to.And then, one day, I woke up and my dad was gone.Mom never explained it to me.He just left and never came back.I was so afraid, but she said that day that she'd always be there for me, that it was the two of us against the world now, and she'd never fail me.""A few years went by, and everything settled down a little.We were poor, but I studied hard and got a scholarship to ease on my mom's expenses.Things seemed to be looking up.I was wary when my mom started dating again, but I figured, she had a chance to be happy, right?"An ominous feeling niggled at the back of Saul's mind, and he could feel Gavin's sadness and anxiety echoing through their half-formed bond.He squeezed Gavin's hands harder in a silent gesture of support.It seemed to work, because Gavin continued with his story."I was fifteen when she got into a serious relationship.The guy was a real-estate agent and, at first, he seemed nice enough.He even asked her to marry him.But that very same night, just after we celebrated their engagement, he came into my room and tried to.You know."Saul's breath caught and his vision began to dim around the edges.Just the thought of someone hurting Gavin like that made him want to rip that person to shreds.Hatred rose within him, hot and angry—a human's fury coupled with the instincts of the wolf."Just give me his name and I'll make sure he pays the price."Gavin shook his head."No, I don't want that.I'm just telling you the story because it's important for you to understand me." He paused slightly."Although, it would help if you held me."Saul gladly did that.Gavin crawled into his lap, and Saul held him close, giving Gavin time to gather his thoughts."Anyway, long story short, he didn't succeed," Gavin said."I went to my mother and told her about it, but he accused me of trying to seduce him and she believed him.In the end, I left, and I've been on my own ever since.I put myself through college, where I met Jessie, and we found work together through one of our previous professors.My mom did eventually marry the asshole and they had kids together, but she divorced him.But all that's in the past.I just wanted to tell you this.I always wanted the family I had with my parents once, but I knew it was only a dream.I became a guidance councilor because I realized I'd likely never have children of my own—not even adopted ones.But now, I have a shot at fulfilling my dream.I can't give that up."Saul said nothing.Gavin's tale moved him to the core, but it also just made him even more protective of the other man.He had to admit that he wanted to have a family with Gavin too.He wanted it so badly he ached.His wolf could already feel the connection with the unborn baby.But the fear of losing Gavin remained just as poignant as before, or maybe even more so.Before he could even try to argue with Gavin, though, his mate took a deep breath and approached an entirely different topic."Now, listen.The two of us agreed once that we'd take it slow.That didn't work out, and I need you to be perfectly honest with me if you want us to get a second chance.Who, and what are you exactly?"Saul froze.He hadn't expected Gavin to ask that, which, in hindsight, had been stupid.Of course Gavin had questions.He seemed to have accepted the pregnancy thing, which was remarkable given that Saul himself still had problems with it.Nevertheless, Saul owed him an explanation.Releasing Gavin, he left the bed and stood."I think it's probably best that I show you.Just promise you won't freak out, all right? Remember that, no matter what shape I might take, it's still me."Gavin nodded, petting his stomach absently."Okay.I'll remember."Praying his lover would take this well, Saul quickly disrobed and left his garments on a nearby armchair.The scent of his mate's arousal—and the feel of it through their connection—distracted him, but he struggled to focus and acknowledge the seriousness of the moment.Finally, when he was naked, he allowed the shift to flow over him and summoned his wolf to the surface.When, at last, he dropped to the floor on four paws, he looked up at Gavin and waited for a reaction.Chapter NineIt was very easy for Gavin to get distracted with the perfect specimen of man stripping for him in his bedroom.It was even easier to get aroused, and in fact, the moment he saw Saul's long, thick cock, his libido flared to life, completely ignoring the fact that his relationship with Saul needed so much work it wasn't funny [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]