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.'Is there something you ought to be telling me, Otto?' said116William.'She seemed extremely angry when you took that second picture,''Veil, it's a little hard to explain,' said the vampire awkwardly.'It's not harmful, is it?''Oh, no, zere are no physical effects vhatsoever--''Or mental effects?' said William, who had spun words too often to miss such a carefully misleading statement.'Perhaps zis is not zer time.''That's true.Tell me about it later.Before you try it again, okay?'William's head buzzed as he ran along Filigree Street.Barely an hour ago he'd been agonizing over what stupid letters to put in the newspaper and the world had seemed more or less normal.Now it had been turned upside down.Lord Vetinari was supposed to have tried to kill someone, and that didn't make sense, if only because the person he had tried to kill was apparently still alive.He'd been trying to get away with a load of money, too, and that didn't make sense either.Oh, it wasn't hard to imagine a person embezzling money and attacking someone, but if you mentally inserted someone like the Patrician into the picture it all fell apart.And what about the peppermint? The room had reeked of it.There were a lot more questions.The look in the corporal's eye as she'd chased him out of the office suggested firmly to William that he was unlikely to get any more answers from the Watch.And looming up in his mind was the gaunt shape of the press.Somehow he was going to have to make a coherent story about all this, and he'd have to do it now.The happy figure of Mr Wintler greeted him as he strode into the press room.'What do you think of this funny marrow, eh, Mr de Worde?''I suggest you stuff it, Mr Wintler,' said William, pushing past.'Just as you say, sir, that's just what my lady wife said too.''I'm sorry, but he insisted on waiting for you,' Sacharissa whispered as William sat down.'What's going on?''I'm not sure.' said William, staring hard at his notes.'Who's been killed?''Er, no one.I think.'117That's a mercy, then.' Sacharissa looked down at the papers covering her desk.I'm afraid we've had five other people in here with humorous vegetables,' she said.'Oh.''Yes.They weren't all that funny, to tell the truth.''Oh.''No, they mainly looked like.um, you know.''Oh.what?''You know,' she said, beginning to go red.'A man's.um, youknow.''Oh.''Not even very much like, um, you know, too.I mean, you had to want to see a.um, you know.there, if you understandme.'William hoped that no one was making notes about this conversation.'Oh,' he said.'But I took their names and addresses, just in case,' said Sacharissa.I thought it might be worth it if we're short of stuff.''We're never going to be that short,' said William quickly.'You don't think so?'I'm positive.''You may be right,' she said, looking at the mess of paper on her desk.'It's been very busy in here while you were out.People have been queueing up with all sorts of news.Things that are going to happen, lost dogs, things they want to sell--''That's advertising,' said William, trying to concentrate on his notes.'If they want it in the paper they have to pay.''I don't see that it's up to us to decide--'William thumped the desk, to his own amazement and Sacharissa's shock.'Something is happening, do you understand? Something really real is happening.And it's not an amusing shape! It's really serious! And I've got to write it down as soon as possible! Can you just let me do that?'He realized Sacharissa was staring not at him but at his fist.He followed her gaze.118'Oh, no.what the hell is this?'A long sharp nail projected straight upwards from the desk, an inch from his hand.It must have been at least six inches long.Pieces of paper had been impaled on it.When he picked it up he saw that it remained upright because it had been hammered through a wooden block.'It's a spike,' said Sacharissa quietly.'I, I, er, brought it in to keep our papers tidy.M-my grandfather always uses one.All.all the engravers do.It's.it's sort of a cross between a filing cabinet and a wastepaper basket.I thought it would be useful.Er, it'll save you using the floor.''Er, right, yes, good idea,' said William, looking at her reddening face.'Er.'He couldn't think straight.'Mr Goodmountain?' he yelled.The dwarf looked up from a playbill he was setting.'Can you put stuff in type if I dictate to you?''Yes.''Sacharissa, please go and find Ron and his.friends.I want to get a small paper out as soon as possible.Not tomorrow morning.Right now.Please?'She was about to protest, and then she saw the look in his eye.'Are you sure you're allowed to do this?' she said.'No! I'm not! I won't know until after I've done it! That's why I've got to do it! Then I'll know! And I'm sorry I'm shouting!'He pushed his chair aside and went over to Goodmountain, who was standing patiently by a case of type.'All right.we need a line at the top.' William shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose while he thought.'Er.“Amazing Scenes In Ankh-Morpork”.got that? In very big type.Then in smaller type, underneath.“Patrician Attacks Clerk With Knife”.er.' That didn't sound right, he knew.It was grammatically inexact.It was the Patrician who had the knife, not the clerk.'We can sort that out later.er.in smaller type again.“Mysterious Events In Stables”.go down another size of type.“Watch Baffled”.Okay? And now we'll start the story.''Start it?' said Goodmountain, his hand dancing across the boxes of type.'Aren't we nearly finished?'119William flicked back and forth through his notes.How to begin, how to begin.Something interesting.No, something amazing.Some amazing things.no.no.The story was surely the strangeness of it all.'“Suspicious circumstances surround the attack”.make that “alleged attack”.''I thought you said he admitted it,' said Sacharissa, dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief.'I know, I know, it's just that I think that if Lord Vetinari wanted to kill someone they'd be dead.look him up in Twurp's Peerage, will you, I'm sure he was educated in the Assassins' Guild--''Alleged or not?' said Goodmountain, his hand hovering over the As.'Just say the word.''Make it “the apparent attack”,' said William, ' “by Lord Vetinari on Rufus Drumknott, his clerk, in the palace today.Er.er.Palace staff heard--”''Do you want me to work on this or do you want me to find the beggars?' Sacharissa demanded.'I can't do both.' William gave her a blank stare.Then he nodded.'Rocky?'The troll by the door awoke with a snort [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]