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.Excuse me! Excuse me ! I know you re both in there!Out! Right now! We don t tolerate that behavior!The flight attendant said, all the time rapping loudly at the door.I stood quickly and rebuttoned my jeans.I stupidly flushed out of habit.John flung the door open and walked out confidently, pretending to zip the flyof his own jeans.The flight attendant stood there, her hands on her hips, her lips pursed in disgust.I followed John out, humiliated, my face red, tears stillstreaming.Take your seats,the woman ordered.As we passed her, she glared at me, shaking her head, a snippy retort on the tip of her tongue but whenshe saw me crying, her face softened slightly and she bit her insult back, probably confusing my tears with shame.Though I was ashamed, I could give aflying eff what she thought of me.I only wanted her to see the pleading in my eyes but she was too distracted by what she thought we did.I looked acrossthe aisle of the plane as we walked to our seats, everyone stared at us, some looked revolted, others amused.The other passengers watched us carefully for close to an hour, unknowingly but, more than likely, only temporarily, saving me from whatever tortureJohn had planned after the lavatory incident.Ironically, I actually needed to pee but I wasn t about to tell John that.I wanted a normal life.And I don t mean normal, like, I wanted a mom and dad where we lived in a two story in the burbs with a white picket fence.I d play hookie from school some random Monday to shoot hoops with the neighbor boy and get grounded for a month.No, I wanted normal as in there weren t any psychopaths obsessed with me.The kind of normal where I didn t have memories of my foster momand dad sleeping with each other in a living room I was expected to walk through to get to school on time, or swimming in a sea of wine corks, avoidinganother set of foster parents drunken, abusive rants.Or the kind where I wasn t threatened with rape every day by the kids who loitered on the corner nearmy school.Or even the kind of normal where I didn t fall in love with a normal family only to realize I loved them way more than they ever loved me.I wanted Callum.I just wanted Callum and I wanted be married to him, to finish college and build a family where our own kids weren t aware thatthere were people out there who don t even deserve to breathe the same air as they do.I wanted them oblivious.I wanted them naive and sheltered andtotally in love with us as we are with them.I know a lot of people probably think that my dreams are unrealistic, that the world is too harsh not to prepare children for how awful it really is.Youknow what I say? Eff that! Why should I let my kids grow up knowing that? They ll find out eventually on their own.Why make them jaded before they veeven gotten a chance to live, to figure out what s really important in life.And what s wrong with innocence, anyway? Huh? I don t get it.I grew up with noinnocence.None.From day one, I was contaminated with the real world and you know what? It sucked.It royally sucked.Listen, I m not an idiot.I know that eventually the world would deal them some awful blow but I wanted my kids to know that they could have what Ididn t, that even though fate may deal them an occasional shitty hand, it doesn t make the game not worth playing.It doesn t mean that they can t createtheir own amazing, incredible life because, by God, your happiness is what you make it and if you want to be happy, damn it, that s your right! And it s notimpossible because I had it once…with Callum Tate.I turned my head toward John and watched him watch me.I decided right then and there, that this guy wasn t going to take anything away from me that Iwasn t willing to give and I wasn t in a very charitable mood that day, either.I was gonna fight this guy with every ounce of fire I had in me.When the plane landed, every antsy passenger, ready to see their families for the holidays, stood, gathering their bags, purses and carry-ons,poised for the few inches they d be given every ridiculously precious five seconds as the passengers ahead unloaded.And we were the last.John stood and yanked me up brutally beside him.If the stupid people around me were paying one iota of attention, they dsee this guy for what he truly was but, instead, they immersed their heads with visions of sugar plums or whatever else people dreamed of on Christmas.Come on, dear,John said sarcastically, tugging me callously through the door of the plane.The flight attendants glared at us, the heat of theirstare attacking the back of my head.Just to embarrass me, John threw me just beyond the doors and kissed me brutishly on the mouth, grabbing my butt and pinching hard.I yelled inpain but they interpreted it as the perverted action John wanted them to think it was.He pushed me up the jet way, laughing at his own lewdness.He wasbeing careless, like he wasn t afraid of losing, which scared the hell out of me.He forced me hard against his chest and breathed in my ear.Don t even think about running asking anyone for help because I ll just run ormyself…straight to Callum and kill him with my own hands way before the cops could possibly save them [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]