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.I want to go with him.“I’m not sure yet.”His eyes hover over my face and then they fall to my lips.He moves in, giving me a waft of his aftershave, and brushes his cheek against mine.I can’t let him do this.I pull away and offer him my neck instead.“Ariel,” he mumbles against my skin.“Why won’t you let me kiss you?” He presses his soft lips against the outside of my neck and kisses me softly.“You just can’t,” I tell him.“Please don’t make a big deal out of this.”“You’ve never been kissed?” he asks, sounding surprised.I want to be honest with him, but I haven’t the first clue why.I barely know the guy.“I have,” I admit.“But not for a while.”“How long is a while?”“Two years,” I tell him.He kisses up my neck and nibbles on my earlobe.“Why? And don’t tell me that the boys weren’t interested.”“The boys weren’t interested,” I say quickly.“Ariel,” he warns.“You’re not playing fair.”“Kissing isn’t for us,” I say.“Kissing is for people who like each other…who want to get to know each other better.Kissing is for people who want to express their romantic feelings to the other person.Kissing is what you do when you want to make a declaration.”“So what’s this that we’re doing?”“We’re not doing anything yet,” I remind him.“But we have fucked.And I think we’re about to do it again.We’re not declaring anything.We’re just doing something that feels good.”His hand cups my breast, his thumb rubbing my nipple.“We’re not doing it yet.”I lean back and push my fingers through his hair.“What are you waiting for?” I ask, readjusting myself on his lap until I feel his erection poking me in my thigh.He stops kissing my neck and leans back against the sofa.“I’m waiting for you this time.”I blink at him.“What?”He smiles.“Why don’t you tell me exactly what you want me to do to you?”I nod towards the floor.“Not on here,” I tell him.“Move to the floor.”He complies immediately, picking me up and planting us gently on the beige carpet.“I want to show you how it’s done properly,” he says, pulling my t-shirt above my head.“Let me make love to you.”I freeze.“No,” I snap, shaking my head.He stares at me, looking confused.“Why not?”“Don’t,” I say.“Don’t do this nicely.I don’t want kisses and I don’t want you making love to me.Just fuck me.”“Ariel, this isn’t right.”I grind my hips against his bulge.“It feels right to me.”“I don’t understand this,” he confesses.“There’s nothing to understand,” I say.“People do this, don’t they? They just meet and have sex.That’s what we’re doing here.”“I think you need help,” he whispers.“I’ll get some help,” I promise, lifting his t-shirt over his head.“Right after New Year’s.”“Are you being serious?” he asks, putting his hand over mine, stopping me from unbuttoning his jeans.I lean back and stare at his solid chest.My eyes immediately move to his scars and I find myself reaching out to touch them.I want to feel them.I want to kiss them.They’re disgustingly ugly and look painfully sore but are breathtakingly beautiful all at the same time.Scars are a reminder—a history or a memory stamped right onto your skin.I feel like I should have something stamped all over mine.On every single piece of me.He snatches my hand away.“Don’t touch,” he says softy.I look up into his eyes.“Do they hurt?”“No.”“Then why can’t I touch?” I ask, pulling my hand out of his and moving it back towards his trousers.“It’s the same reason that you have for me not kissing you.”“It isn’t,” I say, bending down to lick his nipple.I smile when a groan slips from his lips.“But I get your point.I won’t touch them.”“Thank you,” he breathes, and his whole body physically relaxes underneath me.“And were you being serious about getting some help?”“Yes,” I say.“Now shut up.”He smirks, removing my bra.“You fuck me this time,” he says, bucking his hips so I straddle him.I wiggle my hips, moving my knickers down my legs, and then I position the tip of his cock at my entrance.I take a deep breath and look down into his eyes.He doesn’t look like the Noah that’s been with me all afternoon.His eyes are hard and cold as he stares right through me.I want to know where he goes when we do this, but I daren’t ask him because I’m not sure that I’d like his answer.I shut my eyes and lift up slightly.This is going to hurt.I take a deep breath and push down onto him, forcing him inside me in one quick move.It feels like my hymen is tearing all over again.I clamp my mouth shut to stop myself from crying out and let my head drop so he can’t see my face.I stretch around him, my insides burning as they accommodate this foreign object filling me up completely.Fortunately, the pain doesn’t last as long this time and I start to slowly slide myself up and down him.Spasms, an equal mix of pain and pleasure, stab right through me, settling deep in my stomach.Noah’s lips part, quiet groans escaping them.The sound of his enjoyment spurs me on.I’m making him groan in pleasure.Me [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]