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.Then one hot afternoon while Jim was floating on a raft in the pool, his father came home from work early and went outside to talk to him.The conversation began with a civil tone.His father smiled and said he deserved a little time off after working so hard in Princeton.Jim barely glanced up him, which made his father’s tone drop.He clenched his fists at one point and told Jim it was time to get up off his ass, start acting like an adult, and get busy working on getting accepted in law school.Jim squinted through the afternoon sun and glanced up at his father.“But we decided I’d take some time off first.If I go to law school I’ll begin next year in September.” He still hadn’t taken entrance exams or been accepted anywhere.He hadn’t even started to study for the entrance exams.His father made going to law school sound so simple and Jim knew it was anything but that.His father’s eyebrows went up.“What do you mean if you go to law school? I thought you’d decided you would go.I was assuming when you said you’d take a year off you’d spend that time trying to get accepted into a good law school, taking entrance exams, and doing some kind of part time work at the firm.I didn’t expect you to lounge around the house for a year doing nothing.We need to discuss this further, Jim.I’m getting the feeling you’re living in some kind of a fantasy world.”Jim thought for a moment: his world at that point revolved around Len Mayfield.He wiped cold water across his hot face.“I was thinking I might move to Los Angeles and take a job there.I have a friend from school who does public relations work out there.I’m just thinking about all my options.Law school isn’t out of the question.” He couldn’t tell his father all he wanted to do was suck Len Mayfield’s dick for the rest of his life.He couldn’t tell his father he wanted Len to get divorced so he could marry him and become Mrs.Len Mayfield.He’d fantasized so often about marrying Len in a gay wedding he’d even scribbled the name Jim Mayfield all over a notebook in his desk.He threw the notebook out right after he’d scribbled this because he didn’t want anyone to find it.When Jim’s father heard about Jim’s confusing plans, his face grew so red he turned and headed back to the house.They didn’t discuss it again.And Jim made no definite plans to do anything.He continued to lounge at the pool and ride the horses during the day.At night he’d sneak out and meet Len somewhere private and they would make love until the muscles between his legs ached from being stretched too far apart.Then he would sneak back into the house, wearing Len’s cowboy hat, and fall into bed and dream about what Len had just done to him.Two weeks after Jim and his father talked about his future, Jim was in the pool when he heard people approach.He was floating on the raft; he didn’t bother to look up to see who it was.When they moved closer to the pool, Jim’s father looked down and said, “I hope we’re not disturbing you.Len and Janice Mayfield came over to play bridge.It was very impromptu.Your mother got it in her head to play and she called them up.” Radcliff spoke with his overly friendly fake tone he used around his friends.Jim felt tightness in his stomach.His head went up fast.As he squinted up at the four people standing over him, his mother said, “There are some leftovers in the kitchen if you get hungry, dear.We just came out to say hello.”Jim forced a smile and nodded to Mrs.Mayfield.Then he looked up at Len and said, “Hello, Mr.Mayfield.”Len smiled and said, “Hello, Jim.It’s so hot out I wish I could jump in there and join you.”Jim wished Len could join him.But he remained calm and distanced.In spite of his beating heart and the blood rushing through his veins, he turned his head, rested it on the raft, and said, “I was just ready to get out.”As they turned toward the house, Len glanced back and said, “See you later Jim.”Though Jim didn’t know Len was playing bridge with his mother and father that night, he’d already planned to meet Len at a hotel at midnight.He didn’t lift his head or turn.“Have fun everyone.” He was amazed at how calm and relaxed Len was in front of his parents.Here they were having the affair of a lifetime that no one knew about and Len didn’t even have a slight quiver in his voice.Jim decided he would take the back stairs up to his room to shower.He would avoid them playing bridge at all cost.After he had an avocado sandwich, he took a nap from seven at night until about ten.He woke up, watched some TV, and then went to his bathroom to shower for his rendezvous with Len at midnight.But while he was standing in front of the mirror trying to get his hair to fall into place, he heard a knock on the bathroom door.He jumped back and dropped his blow dryer.“I’m just checking in,” his mother said.“Len and Janice Mayfield went home and dad and I are going to bed now.We’re exhausted.”At least she knocked this time.He’d forgotten to lock his bedroom door and he wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d just walked in on him while he was naked.He took a quick breath and picked up his blow dryer.“Okay, mom,” he said.“Good night.”She didn’t leave right away.He saw her shadow in the doorway.She remained outside the bathroom and said, “I hate to pry into your life, Jim.But I’ve been wondering where you go every night.Who are these friends you’ve been running around with? Are they local people? Do I know their parents?”Helen Darling always wanted to know if Jim’s friends came from good families.This was the first time he’d never brought his friends home.He wrapped a towel around his waist and opened the bathroom door.When he walked into his bedroom, he saw his mother holding Len’s cowboy hat.She was looking down at it with a deep, serious expression.Jim gulped and said, “These are just some new people I’ve met.You don’t know them.” He didn’t feel as if she had the right to treat him as if he were a child anymore.He thought he deserved at least a little privacy and respect.“You’re being evasive,” she said, as she turned the hat over and glanced inside.“You know, this reminds me of a hat I’ve seen somewhere before.Where did you get it?”He knew his mother was probing for information.She knew Jim never wore hats, especially cowboy hats.She was obviously wondering why he’d started to wear one that summer.“I found it at a flea market,” he said.“I liked the way it looked.And I’ve been riding a lot this summer.It keeps the sun out of my eyes and off my face.”She set the hat down on the edge of his bed where she’d found it.She looked up and smiled [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]