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.He felt the need to give Darian something to commemorate the date, so he went jewelry shopping.The two of them talked all the time about taking things slow, but when they were together, everything seemed urgent.Matt wanted to make sure Darian knew he was serious.Darian was the love of his life and he didn’t want to lose him.Jamie had dragged his feet for years.Matt was determined not to make the same mistakes.He looked for hours and found just what he wanted in a shop that happened to be next to a tattoo parlor.Before he knew it, he was asking the tattoo artist to give him the same spider tattoo Jamie and Darian had.He looked down at the inside of his right wrist and inspected the black widow.The skin was tender and raised in spots, but the design was flawless.It looked exactly like the picture he had on his phone of Jamie’s.(Which looked exactly like Darian’s.) He hoped Darian would appreciate the sentiment of it, because there was a tiny voice inside his head that told him he should have asked first.Tattoos were permanent.“Oh, Darian,” Matt sighed.So far, Matt’s family adored Darian.Steven still rolled his eyes but had stopped insulting them every time he walked into the room.Matt took his behavioral change as a good sign.His next concern was the new church he attended with his folks.Would they condemn him? And would he be able to bring Darian one day? (When Darian felt comfortable, that is.) The last few sermons blew his old pastor’s messages out of the water.Matt could surely see why his dad wanted to attend this church and stopped shopping around.This pastor even mentioned homosexuality from the pulpit and didn’t equate it with sin.He made it sound like he was ashamed of how the church at large treated gay people.Matt was extremely curious to get to know this pastor and possibly engage him in an intellectual discussion about homosexuality and the Bible.From what he’d heard so far, Matt felt like this guy would respect him, maybe even side with him.“God created me gay; there has to be a reason for it,” Matt wondered to himself as he drove down the road.“Maybe I’m here to head up a new kind of revival where gays and lesbians can gather without fear of persecution.No more will it be said ‘God hates gays.’ Instead the chant will be, ‘God loves gays! God loves gays!’” As he pretend chanted, he pumped his fist in the air.“Yeah, I know He does,” he commented with all surety.“It’s Satan that doesn’t want us to know it.”Matt looked down when his phone buzzed.Darian texted, I got off early.I’ll be to your house soon.Matt picked up the phone and hit the speed dial.After Darian picked up, he said, “Hey, baby.I’m talkin’ on my hands-free.Can you hear me clearly?”“Yup.”“Cool.I’ll be home in like half an hour.I can’t wait to see you.Does Dan know you’re planning on spending the night with me tonight?”“No.I haven’t seen him.I texted, but he didn’t reply.I left him a note.Are you sure your mom is okay with it? I know she didn’t like the idea because of Steven.”“No, it’s fine.She said Steven is staying over at a friend’s house.She’s a little uncomfortable because we’re dating, not married.I told her we’d respect her house and not have sex in my room.She just doesn’t want to think of me as an adult, that’s what it is.It’s not you, it’s me.But once we sign the contract and move into our own place, my parents won’t have a say over what we do or don’t do.I promise.”“Okay.Hey, I got another call coming in.I’ll talk to you soon.”“Okay.Bye.”“Bye.”Matt turned onto 97 North and headed home, thinking about the last six months of his life.Last September, he wasn’t sure he’d even be able to make it to the next day.Jamie’s death hit him so hard.He still felt his friend’s absence in his life, but with Darian, he was able to salvage Jamie’s memory and keep it living and active in both of their lives.He was ever grateful for that.Matt was also grateful for the persecution his family went through after he came out at church.He never thought being the recipient of such betrayal and malice would bring him closer to God and closer to his family, but that was exactly what happened.It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.His dad had always been proud of him.He was the “golden child” of the family, after all.But after his dad experienced the same hate and judgment that Matt felt, and his dad wasn’t even gay, his respect for Matt grew immensely.His father talked to Matt and treated him more like a man than he had ever done before.Matt even returned to work, cutting grass for the same little old ladies who had refused his services in the winter.His boss was right, and after some time went by, they forgot all about what they’d heard at bingo about Matt and welcomed him into their homes like before.Life was back to normal.MATT’S phone rang and he answered, “Hello.”“Hi, Matt,” said Chief Burtrum.“Look, I know it has been a while, but I haven’t forgotten about you.”“Hey, Chief.I didn’t think you had.”“Well, it seems the guys are all bellyaching about the new guy that got hired.He’s technically a volunteer on transfer from another station, but I didn’t tell them that.I assigned him your cubby and Scott hasn’t let him put a single shred of clothing in it.”Matt laughed.“Oh my gosh, Scott.”“Anyway, I was wondering if you could come in on Monday and have a chat about your job?”Matt turned the corner and felt the exhilaration of his heart beating faster.“Chief, are you asking what I think you’re asking?”“Matt, they all want you back.I’m only sorry it took this long.Even Billy said—”“Give me the phone,” Matt heard Billy squawk.“Matt, it’s Billy.Just get your faggoty ass back to the station.”“Gee, Billy, with an invitation like that….”“Shut up.You know I’m not good with this.It’s just… things aren’t the same without you.And I’ve been thinkin’ ever since that ambulance crashed and your guy—Darian, is it?”“Yes.His name is Darian.” Matt could not believe how calm his voice was when his insides were jumping and his pulse was racing.He could hardly think as he turned onto the next street.Billy continued, “Well, when Darian was on the ground, all I kept thinking about was my Susan.What if that was her?” Matt could hear his ragged breath on the other end.Was Billy crying? “Anyway, I’ve been thinking how much you must love that guy to go through all the shit we put you through.And I want to say, I’m sorry.”Matt was all choked up.Billy’s apology was nicer than anything he could have written himself.“Thanks, Billy.Tell the chief I’ll be in on Monday.”“I will.And if you want to bring Darian by to play poker again, I promise not to make fun of his name.”“Ha, ha, okay.I will.Thanks.”Matt heard him hang up.He smiled.“Things really are working out,” he mused.MATT parked his truck behind Darian’s Nissan and jumped out.The neighbor kids were shooting off fireworks in the front yard, just as Matt suspected they would be, but he couldn’t be bothered to ream them out this time.Darian was waiting inside.He entered the house and found his mom making dinner.“Hey, you seen Dare?” he asked.“He went up to your room.”“Okay, thanks.Call me when dinner’s ready.”“Okay, but you remember your promise.”Matt stopped on the stairs and peeked over the railing.“I will.No sex in your house—got it [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]